Donate SIGN UP

marval

3941 to 3960 of 3998

First Previous 195 196 197 198 199 200 Next Last

Avatar Image
marval

Three little piggies

Three little piggies went out to dinner one night. The waiter took their drinks order. "I would like a Pepsi," said the first little piggy "I would like a glass of cola," said the second little piggy...
20:11 Sat 02nd May 20091 answer, last by carlton23 09:14 Sun 03rd May 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Why

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?" Why do we say...
23:15 Fri 01st May 20091 answer, last by beso 03:48 Sat 02nd May 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Purchasing A Turkey

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked an assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The assistant replied,...
23:04 Thu 30th Apr 20091 answer, last by HillyHugger 08:31 Fri 01st May 2009
Avatar Image
marval

How all careers end.

Lawyers are disbarred Ministers are defrocked Electricians are delighted / refused Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented Drunks are distilled Alpine climbers are dismounted Piano tuners are unstrung...
20:06 Wed 29th Apr 20094 answers, last by marval 21:37 Thu 30th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Goods

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On some Swann...
13:06 Wed 29th Apr 20091 answer, last by sn�gs 13:08 Wed 29th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Spicey smoke

Three men are sitting in a room smoking cannabis. After a few spliffs they run out of gear. One of the men stands up and says, 'Look, we've got loads more tobacco, I'll just nip into the kitchen and...
22:43 Mon 27th Apr 20091 answer, last by Bumpkin_Clumber 17:21 Mon 12th Mar 2012
Avatar Image
marval

Here are some unfortunate notices.

In a toilet Toilet out of order please use floor below In a Laundry Automatic washing machines, please remove all your clothes when the light goes out In a store Bargain basement upstairs In an office...
22:57 Sun 26th Apr 200912 answers, last by oblivio 16:38 Thu 30th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

More training needed

A man called Charlie is thrown out of his home, and decides that he needs to get a job in the world. He didn't have a lot of experience, so he thought it would be a good idea to get a job in a...
13:21 Sun 26th Apr 20093 answers, last by vaishali 10:29 Thu 24th Nov 2011
Avatar Image
marval

French opera

Can anyone tell me why French operas always have a fairy tale scene, as well as a ballet scene? I wonder where that tradition comes from.
13:13 Sun 26th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Kids Operation

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here...
20:24 Sat 25th Apr 20091 answer, last by MadMongler 20:26 Sat 25th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Dog daffynitions

dogberries. Fruits almost as tasty as a bone dogcart. Canine transportation dogcatcher. A dog very good at catching the ball in cricket dogdom. A realm where dogs live doge. Chief magistrate at doggy...
15:40 Sat 25th Apr 20093 answers, last by marval 20:22 Sat 25th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Big People Words

A group of young children were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words," she...
22:36 Fri 24th Apr 20094 answers, last by marval 12:28 Wed 29th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Exercises for seniors.

You know how important exercise is, as we grow older. Here are a few suggestions. I start by standing outside behind the house and, with a five pound potato sack in each hand, extend my arms straight...
12:19 Fri 24th Apr 20092 answers, last by lindylou16 17:38 Sat 25th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

So that's what it's for.

Miss Bea the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the...
21:44 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Cat daffynitions

Sorry the last posting looks awful, hope this is easier to read. Catalogue. A feline on a piece of wood Cataplexy. A puzzled cat Catapult. Large sling for throwing cats Cataract. What a cat does in a...
17:28 Thu 23rd Apr 20092 answers, last by chrisrob 10:34 Sat 25th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Cat daffynitions.

Catalogue. A feline on a piece of wood Cataplexy. A puzzled cat Catapult. Large sling for throwing cats Cataract. What a cat does in a play Catarrh. Instrument a cat plays when it has a cold...
17:13 Thu 23rd Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 10:24 Sat 25th Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

An eggseptional joke

Two eggs sitting on a kitchen table One of them spots a whisk and asks "what's that?" The other egg looks puzzled and replies "beats me."
18:57 Wed 22nd Apr 20096 answers, last by marval 16:18 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Here are some new dog varieties.

Collie + Lhasa Apso Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport. Spitz + Chow Chow Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot. Pointer + Setter Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet. Great Pyrenees...
18:42 Wed 22nd Apr 20094 answers, last by marval 23:25 Thu 23rd Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Appropriate Hymn

Setup: hymns for church services are usually selected well in advance without knowing what the sermon will be about ... pity the poor song leader: A minister was completing a temperance sermon, With...
14:02 Tue 21st Apr 2009
Avatar Image
marval

Chinese translations

Are you harbouring a fugitive?........Hu Yu Hai Ding? See me A.S.A.P???Kum Hia Nao Stupid Man??..Dum Gai Small Horse??..Tai Ni Po Ni Your price is too high!!........No Bai Dam Thing!! Did you go to...
12:28 Mon 20th Apr 20094 answers, last by MalcolmY 20:56 Sun 17th May 2009

3941 to 3960 of 3998

First Previous 195 196 197 198 199 200 Next Last