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marval

621 to 640 of 3998

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marval
Have you seen that weird new Mexican carnival game? Groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado? It’s called guac-a-mole....
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marval
I am addicted to seaweed. I think I need to seek kelp....
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marval
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord....
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marval
The minister was not happy with the constant disturbances he was having during his sermons so he decided to call on old Jonas to help him. The next Sunday morning he gave Jonas a bowl of cough sweets...
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marval
A friend of mine told me he has a shed full of geese. I asked him for a gander....
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marval
I have just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap....
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marval
Don't spell part backwards. It is a trap....
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marval
I sang the rainbow song in front of a police officer. He arrested me for using colourful language...
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marval
My wife always wanted me to stick up for her. Robbing the bank with her by my side wasn't what she had in mind....
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marval
I used to be a spy until someone came at me with a hairdryer while I was in bed. They blew my cover....
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My partner says there's no money in fishing. He will be surprised when he sees I managed to make over a thousand pounds selling all of his equipment....
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marval
A few years ago, there was a Mensa Convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper...
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marval
My partner spends a lot of time on eBay. But no, I still haven't had any bids for him....
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marval
I have decided to invest in helium. It is the one investment that always goes up....
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marval
A Roman fighter consumed his wife. He said he was glad 'e ate 'er....
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marval
I have just asked out a man I have known for years and I am distraught. The most attractive person you could ever meet, eyes that you can't help but stare into, wit that could get everyone laughing,...
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marval
What is the difference between girls/women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78? At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 -- You...
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marval
My friend likes to meditate while he works in his barbershop in Jamaica. I don't know what he would do without it. I dread to think....
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While driving I had an accident with a magician. It wasn't my fault, he came out of nowhere....
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marval
I went out for a meal last night. It was a seafood restaurant. There was an awful fight. Four fish got battered....

621 to 640 of 3998

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