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marval

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marval

Jean-Luc Picard

When Jean-Luc Picard had some spare time from the Starship Enterprise, he enjoyed working on his little farm. Some of the equipment was old and poorly maintained. He had huge problems getting the seed...
17:05 Wed 27th Dec 20175 answers, last by aelmpvw 09:47 Thu 28th Dec 2017
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marval

Drill

Although this married couple enjoyed their luxury fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an...
23:27 Tue 26th Dec 20171 answer, last by Chipchopper 10:26 Wed 27th Dec 2017
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marval

Don't Fight

A husband and wife had a fight. The wife called her mother. "He fought with me again," she said. "I am coming to stay with you." Her Mother said, "No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to...
18:34 Tue 26th Dec 2017
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marval

Did You?

Did you hear that Santa knows karate? He has a black belt....
15:08 Mon 25th Dec 2017
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marval

Had Enough

I couldn't believe this. On christmas eve I got another anaconda shoved through my front door. I really have had enough of these amazon mix-ups....
18:40 Sun 24th Dec 20174 answers, last by Fanriffic 20:34 Sun 24th Dec 2017
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marval

I Was

I was engaged once. To a contortionist. But she broke it off....
18:51 Sat 23rd Dec 20175 answers, last by sunny-dave 20:35 Sat 23rd Dec 2017
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marval

I Know Exactly Where I Am

A drunk stumbled out the door of the bar. He stood on the corner waiting for the lights to change. His wife calls and asks if he is drunk. The man replies, "Of course not!" Being suspicious that he is...
17:18 Fri 22nd Dec 20172 answers, last by Tilly2 09:09 Sun 24th Dec 2017
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marval

Groan

A man was sitting at a bar in London, and ordered a drink. "So, who are you?", asked the bartender. "I'm a danceologist. I've studied every dance in the entirety of Oceania". "Even the Wingo Wango?"...
20:02 Thu 21st Dec 20173 answers, last by marval 16:53 Fri 22nd Dec 2017
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marval

It Is Christmas

(To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas) Christmas morning down the pub Getting drunk and perky While the missus stays at home Trying to cook the turkey Got thrown out at closing time Head in need of...
22:59 Wed 20th Dec 20175 answers, last by Tilly2 09:53 Thu 21st Dec 2017
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marval

How Do?

A company owner was asked a question. "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?" He smiled and replied. "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces....
19:38 Wed 20th Dec 20173 answers, last by Patsy33 21:24 Wed 20th Dec 2017
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marval

Old Enough

My neighbour was working in his garden when he was startled by an old car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car...
19:49 Tue 19th Dec 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 21:04 Tue 19th Dec 2017
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marval

Vice President

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she could not take it any longer, and told him,...
22:55 Mon 18th Dec 2017
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marval

You'll Never Believe

Getting older, as we do, and doing things as we get older, I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. As I passed through the kitchen, I happened to look out through the rear windows. I...
19:57 Mon 18th Dec 20174 answers, last by Quoi 20:18 Mon 18th Dec 2017
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marval

A Theory Of Happiness

A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he decides to test this theory. He convenes all the couples he can find at a special seminar. He then starts by...
18:03 Mon 18th Dec 20171 answer, last by Patsy33 18:08 Mon 18th Dec 2017
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marval

A Visit To Dr Sqad

A woman walks into Dr Sqad's surgery but doesn't like the way he's looking at her. When he tells her to undress, she asks him to turn out the lights before she disrobes. After he turns out the lights...
17:45 Sun 17th Dec 20174 answers, last by davegosling 18:09 Sun 17th Dec 2017
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marval

You Know

Now You Know What Dasher and Dancer do at Christmas. But what do they do for money during the Summer months? They are pole dancers....
17:21 Sat 16th Dec 20172 answers, last by Voltage 18:53 Sat 16th Dec 2017
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marval

I Don't

I don’t like bricks I don’t like Trowels I also don’t like brick hods But of scaffolding I am a great supporter....
13:39 Sat 16th Dec 20172 answers, last by Shaglene 14:35 Sat 16th Dec 2017
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marval

One For The Kids

What do you call a bee that eats other bees? Hannibal Nectar....
16:49 Thu 14th Dec 20171 answer, last by spathiphyllum 16:51 Thu 14th Dec 2017
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marval

Better

I'm getting sick to death of my shoulder that keeps popping out. It has a better social life than me....
23:05 Sun 10th Dec 2017
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marval

Know Your Carols?

A teacher asked her students to write the words to their favourite Christmas Carols. She probably got fired for mentioning Christmas in school. Anyway here are some of the humorous lines she received:...
18:09 Sat 09th Dec 20174 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:41 Sun 10th Dec 2017

561 to 580 of 3998

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