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marval

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marval

I Lend

I lend people money if they agree to be my friend. I’m a bit of a loaner. Where do South African rugby players keep their Slinkys? The Spring Box. What did the octagenarian pirate say on his...
19:20 Wed 07th Mar 20183 answers, last by Jackdaw33 20:49 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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marval

My Partner

My partner was preparing lunch today when she asked, “Sweetheart, where’s the cheese grater?” “Some would say France, others would say England,” I replied. I’m hosting a panel show later....
17:09 Wed 07th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 17:24 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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marval

My Daughter

My daughter was born with an umbrella sticking out of the top of her head. I am worried about her starting college. She has led a very sheltered life....
16:48 Wed 07th Mar 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 17:26 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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marval

I Have

I have been a captain in the army for ten years now and simply refuse to get promoted further. They say I’ve got major issues....
20:41 Tue 06th Mar 201816 answers, last by Shaglene 16:12 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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marval

Have I?

As a large animal vet I was asked to make a prosthetic hand device for a grizzly bear. Have I made a faux paw?...
19:11 Tue 06th Mar 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 16:14 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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marval

Mistake

It was a mistake to steal a smart car. It picked me out of the police line-up and appeared as a witness for the prosecution....
18:50 Tue 06th Mar 20183 answers, last by Garaman 22:01 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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marval

My Grandfather

My Grandfather was decorated for bravery in the war. It took him weeks to get the last bits of wallpaper off....
00:15 Tue 06th Mar 20187 answers, last by albaqwerty 13:38 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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marval

I Have

I have been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Things are looking up....
20:21 Mon 05th Mar 20188 answers, last by Shaglene 08:51 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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marval

Rip

The Arabian inventor of the bullet-proof vehicle died today. R.I.P. Ahmed Carr...
19:39 Mon 05th Mar 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 08:53 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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marval

What Is Wrong?

Quasimodo went to see Dr Sqad Dr Sqad, after examining him, says, "I think there's something wrong with your back." Quasimodo says, "What makes you say that?" He replies, "Oh, it's just a hunch."...
19:25 Mon 26th Feb 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 16:42 Tue 27th Feb 2018
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marval

Criminal Offence

Do you think attacking an animal should be a criminal offence? This poor police dog was stabbed, luckily he survived....
18:22 Fri 23rd Feb 20188 answers, last by kvalidir 19:28 Fri 23rd Feb 2018
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marval

Don't Mishandle Your Tools

For all the men on here, be careful when doing your DIY. It could get painful. https://news.sky.com/story/firefighters-free-mans-genitals-from-spanner-11261890...
19:11 Thu 22nd Feb 201823 answers, last by jno 11:04 Fri 23rd Feb 2018
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marval

Dolls House

Anyone want to live in The Dolls House? It is a bit small but the views are good. https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/photos/46603013...
19:54 Tue 20th Feb 201818 answers, last by jno 21:48 Tue 20th Feb 2018
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marval

Picasso

Spanish painter Pablo Picasso encountered a thief at work in his mansion. The intruder got away, and the police were called. Picasso offered to do a rough sketch of what the thief looked like. On the...
21:26 Thu 15th Feb 201811 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:52 Fri 16th Feb 2018
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marval

Two Wishes

An older woman runs into her friend at the supermarket. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said. “I found an old lamp the other day. I rubbed it and a genie popped out. He explained that...
19:58 Wed 14th Feb 2018
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marval

Are You?

A mother walks into her daughters room holding a condom in her hand. "I found this while cleaning your room today, are you sexually active?" To which the daughter replies. "No, I just lay there."...
19:42 Sat 10th Feb 20189 answers, last by Shaglene 09:50 Sun 11th Feb 2018
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marval

I Am Back

This lovely dog is reunited with his family after ten years. I wonder what happened....
19:16 Tue 06th Feb 20183 answers, last by hereIam 14:50 Wed 07th Feb 2018
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marval

Dear Milkman

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant. Dear milkman I have just had a baby, please leave another one. Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk. Milk is needed for the baby....
16:38 Tue 06th Feb 20189 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:24 Tue 06th Feb 2018
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marval

How Many Babies?

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, "My wife was reading a "Tale of Two Cities" and she gave birth to twins" "That's funny", the second man remarked, "my wife...
16:32 Tue 06th Feb 20182 answers, last by Jackdaw33 16:37 Tue 06th Feb 2018
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marval

Show

Two gardeners have entered their potatoes in a vegetable show. One is declared the winner and swaggers over to boast of his success to the other gardener. “Not surprised I won, to be honest,” he...
17:51 Sat 03rd Feb 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 14:22 Sun 04th Feb 2018

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