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marval

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marval

Driving In Germany

English / German Car Phrases How would the Germans pronounce English car words and phrases? Accident...............................Das Bleedinkmess Backfire...........................Der...
19:37 Fri 02nd Feb 20183 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:30 Fri 02nd Feb 2018
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marval

Up And Down

Newlyweds, Tim and Nancy, spent their wedding night at a hotel. The following morning, Nancy's closest friend, Jennifer, came over and asked them how their wedding night went. "I'm so exhausted,"...
23:41 Wed 31st Jan 20183 answers, last by Voltage 11:57 Thu 01st Feb 2018
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marval

Wedding Gift

A female snake charmer was wooed by an undertaker and accepted his offer of marriage. They received many gifts at the wedding but their favourite was a set of towels embroidered with the words "hiss...
19:11 Tue 30th Jan 20189 answers, last by Voltage 09:07 Wed 31st Jan 2018
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marval

Married Life

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll...
18:25 Fri 19th Jan 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 20:29 Fri 19th Jan 2018
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marval

Definitions Of Musical Terms

JAZZ: Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes. BLUES: Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning. WORLD MUSIC: A dozen different types of percussion all going at once. OPERA:...
17:20 Thu 18th Jan 20182 answers, last by tonyav 00:03 Fri 19th Jan 2018
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marval

Paddy And Mick

Paddy and Mick were working for their local council. Paddy would dig a hole, then Mick would come behind him and fill in the hole. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling...
16:18 Mon 15th Jan 20184 answers, last by Khandro 11:56 Tue 16th Jan 2018
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marval

Difference Between Men And Women

Woman's Diary 28 July, Saturday ‘Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I’d been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him. I thought it might be...
12:07 Mon 15th Jan 20185 answers, last by Old_Geezer 12:25 Mon 15th Jan 2018
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marval

What?

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet? Egyptian dummies....
17:43 Sat 13th Jan 20182 answers, last by Capeman 09:40 Sun 14th Jan 2018
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marval

Misunderstanding

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of...
23:32 Wed 10th Jan 201811 answers, last by Bazile 16:28 Thu 11th Jan 2018
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marval

Because

A man being tried for murder happens to know one of the jurors. Before jury deliberation, the man finds a way to contact his friend and emphatically demands that he vote for life in prison with the...
19:51 Wed 10th Jan 2018
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marval

That’S A Good Thing

A young boy was spending a Sunday afternoon with his grandpa. Looking at pictures of his grandpa in his military uniform, the boy asked, "Grandpa, did you ever kill anyone in the war?" "No champ, I...
18:49 Tue 09th Jan 20184 answers, last by Chipchopper 17:51 Wed 10th Jan 2018
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Do It Now

After hearing a speech on how to motivate employees, the business owner posted signs that read "Do It Now" in every department. It was impossible for the employees not to see them all through the day....
19:52 Mon 08th Jan 20184 answers, last by Voltage 21:11 Mon 08th Jan 2018
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marval

I Always Wanted

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink. Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the...
16:35 Sun 07th Jan 20182 answers, last by Voltage 12:28 Mon 08th Jan 2018
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Would You Want To Get Married Here?

They had tours you could go on, now they are looking to conducting weddings at Kettering Crematorium. Would you choose that as your venue?...
19:54 Fri 05th Jan 201824 answers, last by tonyav 21:48 Fri 05th Jan 2018
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marval

Daddy?

A little girl asked her father. "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" He replied. "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If elected I promise.'"...
20:11 Thu 04th Jan 20182 answers, last by Voltage 20:46 Thu 04th Jan 2018
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marval

I Would Like

A gentleman walked briskly into the chemist. He strode over to the pharmacist and said, "I would like a box of Sex-Lax." The pharmacist smiled and replied, "You must mean Ex-Lax." "No," the man...
18:17 Wed 03rd Jan 20183 answers, last by Voltage 19:55 Wed 03rd Jan 2018
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marval

The Forecast

What's the forecast for New Years Eve? Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out....
00:08 Mon 01st Jan 2018
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marval

Stop That

A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised. When his young...
18:21 Fri 29th Dec 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 18:59 Fri 29th Dec 2017
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marval

What Does It Say?

A lady sees some Chinese characters on a Chinese menu. She likes them, so she goes home and makes a shirt with the symbols on it. A week later, she bumps into a Chinese man. The man looks at her and...
18:19 Thu 28th Dec 20173 answers, last by Chipchopper 12:23 Fri 29th Dec 2017
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marval

Oops

Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage,...
22:02 Wed 27th Dec 20171 answer, last by pjgriffo 13:55 Sun 31st Dec 2017

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