Donate SIGN UP

marval

501 to 520 of 3998

First Previous 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 Next Last

Avatar Image
marval

I Am

I am getting heavily criticised for the way I run my magazine publishing company. I don’t know why. I have been in charge for five years now, and there haven’t been any issues in all that time....
18:46 Sun 18th Mar 20184 answers, last by Garaman 21:51 Sun 18th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

It Was

It was my birthday last night and all drinks were on the house. I stayed sober because I’m scared of heights. A friend of mine is a Community Support Officer and he desperately wants to be a real...
16:54 Sun 18th Mar 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 17:11 Sun 18th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

My Wife

My wife sent me shopping earlier, and told me to pick up the bear essentials. I didn’t even know that we had one, but I did as she asked, and picked up a large jar of honey. This is the fifth time...
20:10 Sat 17th Mar 20183 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:49 Sat 17th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Told

I told a local DJ that I had a large amount of rare vinyl. “Is there any chance that I could come round and have a look?” he asked. He didn’t look too impressed when I showed him my collection...
18:01 Fri 16th Mar 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 22:50 Fri 16th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

My Nan

My Nan asked me to take her shopping today. I was always brought up to respect your elders, so I grabbed her trolley and legged it. I have just come home and found my mum slumped on the couch with...
16:08 Fri 16th Mar 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 20:40 Fri 16th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Good Service

I was visiting a friend today and got a bit lost on the way. I stopped at a garage to ask for directions and before I knew it I had a complete service on the car, four new tyres and a full tank of...
22:28 Thu 15th Mar 20187 answers, last by murraymints 08:48 Fri 16th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

A Woman

A woman kept bugging me in town to buy some singing lessons. I have to admit, she had an impressive pitch. I ate a pixelated brownie yesterday. Only took me one byte. I am going to be running a...
20:13 Thu 15th Mar 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 20:20 Thu 15th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Went

I went to a seminar about building temporary roads. I made my own way home I have just bought an Igloo from IKEA. 200 litres of water (freezer not included). After falling overboard on a cruise ship,...
18:56 Wed 14th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:55 Thu 15th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Ever Since

Ever since I misplaced my dictionary, I have been at a loss for words. Today I heard on the news that there was a spillage of syrup on the motorway. It makes a change from the usual jams. My partner...
17:26 Tue 13th Mar 20186 answers, last by zebo 20:29 Tue 13th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Joined

I joined three golf clubs today. Now I can practice my putting in the garden from the upstairs bedroom window. I was milking some cows today. I got most of their money before they noticed the cards...
18:02 Mon 12th Mar 20183 answers, last by Voltage 21:37 Mon 12th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Auntie Anne

When I was younger one of my teeth fell out while my Auntie Anne was babysitting for me. She noticed I had placed my tooth under my pillow along with a spliff. She said, “I don’t think the tooth...
17:44 Mon 12th Mar 20184 answers, last by tonyav 21:44 Mon 12th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Sold

I sold my car in the local newspaper today. The man that bought it spent three hours unwrapping it. As a therapist, I have found that the most difficult patients are magicians. They never reveal their...
23:49 Sun 11th Mar 20185 answers, last by albaqwerty 11:46 Mon 12th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Was

I was waiting at the bus stop the other day. But I gave up in the end. Every time I approached someone to ask if they would like to see a menu they just looked at me like I was stupid....
18:14 Sun 11th Mar 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 19:41 Sun 11th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

News

A man’s wife came home one night with some news. She said, “Well firstly, I’ve managed to get a part in the Egyptian play I’ve auditioned for.” “Well done!” He said. “You must be so...
18:38 Sat 10th Mar 20181 answer, last by Old_Geezer 18:40 Sat 10th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

My Friend

My friend gets women by putting his hand in a glass of Archers and letting them lick it. They come running when he Schnapps his fingers....
22:08 Fri 09th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Starring

I am starring in a new theatrical drama called ‘Sword’. It’s a play on words. Twinings have recently developed a new erotic breakfast tea, Fifty Shades Of Earl Grey. I have just sold a tin of...
19:00 Fri 09th Mar 20185 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:52 Fri 09th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

I Buy

I buy all my furniture and bathroom fittings from the local Chinese restaurant. Today I ordered a suite and shower....
17:52 Fri 09th Mar 20185 answers, last by Garaman 19:10 Fri 09th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

A Man

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on how to be rude to customers. The librarian says, “Kindly eff off, Sir, I’m only halfway through the first chapter myself.”...
23:03 Thu 08th Mar 20183 answers, last by Voltage 16:16 Fri 09th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Warning

BBC News – US warns allies on possible leaks. OK, they’re not the nicest vegetable, but there is no need to be afraid of them....
20:32 Thu 08th Mar 20181 answer, last by DTCwordfan 20:33 Thu 08th Mar 2018
Avatar Image
marval

Back To Work

My job advisor has said she will get me back to work “By Hook or by Crook.” If I’m honest, I’d prefer Piracy over Sheep Farming....
20:09 Thu 08th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 16:16 Fri 09th Mar 2018

501 to 520 of 3998

First Previous 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 Next Last