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marval

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marval

Practice

I was practicing my potting technique in the local snooker club yesterday. The manager approached me and said. “Get out and take that soil with you.”...
18:25 Tue 17th Apr 201811 answers, last by marval 22:02 Tue 17th Apr 2018
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marval

Thrown Out

I was thrown out of a seance last night. The medium asked if I had a spirit guide. I answered “Yes, it’s Trevor at Bargain Booze.”...
14:45 Tue 17th Apr 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 15:06 Tue 17th Apr 2018
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marval

Surprised

I was surprised when my psychic friend complimented me on the way I had cooked his steak. “Well done” is rare from a medium....
21:23 Mon 16th Apr 20183 answers, last by jno 21:56 Mon 16th Apr 2018
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marval

Late

I was over an hour late for work this morning. When I arrived the boss stormed over and snapped, “What’s your excuse this time Matthew?” “Sorry sir,” I replied. “I missed the bus.” He...
20:38 Mon 16th Apr 20188 answers, last by maggiebee 21:57 Mon 16th Apr 2018
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marval

My Partner

My partner said he is leaving me because I can’t stop talking about African countries. To which I replied “Please Kenya take me back, I’m Ghana stop doing it. I don’t want you Togo....
20:10 Mon 16th Apr 201814 answers, last by marval 14:34 Tue 17th Apr 2018
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marval

Reading

I have Just been reading a book which, apparently, is all the rage. It is about a girl who cheats in her A level exams to achieve higher marks. It is called "Shifty Grades of Faye."...
23:10 Sun 15th Apr 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 23:20 Sun 15th Apr 2018
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marval

Kfc

KFC have decided that due to the current economic climate its employees will receive chicken instead of a pay rise. Strike action is expected after workers described the pay increase as “paltry.”...
17:50 Sun 15th Apr 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 19:15 Sun 15th Apr 2018
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marval

Wrong

I really don’t know what I did wrong. I was peacefully eating my chicken tikka masala with a spoon. The waiter then came and told me get the fork out....
15:42 Sun 15th Apr 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 09:34 Mon 16th Apr 2018
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marval

I Did

I did a tandem sky dive yesterday. I was on the front seat doing the steering and pedalling. My friend on the back seat opened the parachute....
15:09 Sat 14th Apr 20184 answers, last by Voltage 18:49 Sat 14th Apr 2018
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marval

Threatened

A man threatened to hunt me down and attack me with a pair of shock absorbers. He didn’t say when though. The suspension’s killing me....
14:45 Sat 14th Apr 201819 answers, last by Khandro 11:49 Sun 15th Apr 2018
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marval

I Found

I found a book today called ‘Learn to Walk’. As far as I recall, it went something like, Step One Step Two Repeat....
20:20 Fri 13th Apr 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 09:59 Sat 14th Apr 2018
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marval

My Friend

My friend is a shape shifter. He works as a porter at the local geometry centre....
22:43 Thu 12th Apr 20186 answers, last by Ellipsis 13:33 Fri 13th Apr 2018
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marval

I Keep

I keep having reocurring nightmares where I am surrounded by loads of nude pregnant women. Could I be going through a midwife crisis?...
22:02 Wed 11th Apr 201811 answers, last by Spicerack 15:42 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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marval

Ouch

Two prison inmates are in a cell together. One says to the other ”I have got two tickets to the wardens ball, do you want one?” ”No thanks, I can't dance” the other inmate replied. The first...
17:03 Wed 11th Apr 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 17:08 Wed 11th Apr 2018
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marval

Missing

My dog recently went missing. So I got a pet detective. Although he doesn’t seem to like his cage very much....
15:41 Wed 11th Apr 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 16:57 Wed 11th Apr 2018
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marval

Worried

The apple industry has been hit by a rapid decline in sales of fruit-based pastries. Industry experts are worried about the apple turnover....
21:58 Tue 10th Apr 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 08:54 Wed 11th Apr 2018
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marval

Doctor Please Help Me

Mr. Brown is at the doctor’s, “Doctor, I can’t sleep at night because I keep having to think about the crocodile under my bed.” “I’ll prescribe some medication,” says the doctor. “You...
18:35 Mon 09th Apr 20187 answers, last by aelmpvw 09:02 Tue 10th Apr 2018
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marval

Refrain

Two little old ladies were walking through the park one Sunday afternoon. The band was playing a catchy sounding tune, and one of the old ladies said, "I wonder what the name of that tune is." The...
22:57 Sat 07th Apr 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 13:19 Sun 08th Apr 2018
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marval

Wish

When the man and wife got into bed for some lovemaking one night, instead of responding she was complaining about economic conditions of the world. "Everything is going up," she whined. "The price of...
17:58 Sat 07th Apr 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 18:45 Sat 07th Apr 2018
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marval

Guitar Players

For all guitar players, worried about your fingers hurting? Stop fretting. I took my car to auction yesterday. It didn’t buy anything though. I saw a poster that said, ‘Do you want help giving up...
19:05 Fri 06th Apr 2018

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