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marval

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marval

Send Backup

Two Mexicans are on a bike along U.S. Highway 52 about 15 miles outside of Lafayette , LA The bike's tyres go flat, and they start hitching a lift back into town. A friendly trucker stops to see if he...
17:33 Thu 24th May 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 08:36 Fri 25th May 2018
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marval

I Went

I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a D.I.Y. accident. I stuck out like a sore thumb. My friend has just retired as a transplant surgeon. He touched the hearts of many people. Our local chemist...
18:27 Wed 23rd May 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 12:12 Thu 24th May 2018
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marval

Short Tempered

A Rabbi who was late for a golf game was rather short tempered with several people whose phone calls kept delaying him. The next day his secretary said "Rabbi, several members of the congregation were...
23:06 Sun 20th May 20185 answers, last by 1ozzy 08:32 Mon 21st May 2018
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marval

I Applied

I applied for a job at a carpenters the other day. I had to demonstrate my skill with a piece of wood. I nailed it. I knew a man who chopped down trees in his sleep. He was a slumberjack. I felt a bit...
19:23 Sat 19th May 201817 answers, last by Voltage 23:34 Sat 19th May 2018
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marval

Petals

Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office. A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them. On the night of our...
20:21 Thu 17th May 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 19:11 Sun 20th May 2018
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marval

I Am Really Happy

I am really happy with my new job fitting heating devices into electric kettles. I am in my element. The worst bit about buying a zebra is the check out. I was absolutely hopeless at geometry when I...
22:18 Tue 15th May 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 10:56 Wed 16th May 2018
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marval

Bbc News

BBC News An Elvis convention was abandoned after a small earthquake injured several impersonators. Witnesses were said to be ‘all shook up’....
18:37 Tue 15th May 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 19:39 Tue 15th May 2018
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marval

Obsessed Doctor

There’s a doctor at my hospital who’s obsessed with Fawlty Towers. Every time he walks onto a ward he asks, “Is this man well?”...
16:55 Tue 15th May 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 19:08 Tue 15th May 2018
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marval

I Was Arrested

I was arrested after smearing somebody’s luggage with Vaseline. The police dropped the case. I had a few mates round last night to watch the match. I’ve never been so frustrated in all my life!...
19:19 Sun 13th May 20183 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:01 Mon 14th May 2018
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marval

I Love Playing

I love playing ‘telekinetic snooker’. But you’ve got to be in the right frame of mind for it. I brush after every meal, and my dentist says my hair looks lovely. I purchased a new car the other...
19:07 Sat 12th May 20183 answers, last by 1ozzy 09:46 Sun 13th May 2018
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marval

I Was Shocked

I was shocked today when I was unable to complete my daily crossword puzzle. I was lost for words. I have an S&M kit. It is brand spanking new. Did you know, there is a secret Mr. Men character about...
18:47 Fri 11th May 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 13:02 Sat 12th May 2018
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marval

I Gave

I gave my partner a right pasting today. Serves him right for getting in the way whilst I am wallpapering. I went to the doctors today about my addiction to astrology. He said “What are the...
22:27 Thu 10th May 20184 answers, last by maggiebee 10:07 Fri 11th May 2018
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marval

I Was Up

I was up before a four foot six inch judge last week. I thought to myself, “Little things are sent to try us.” I am making a fortune in my job as a door-to-door salesman of “NO DOOR-TO-DOOR...
22:32 Wed 09th May 20186 answers, last by Voltage 15:57 Thu 10th May 2018
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marval

Last Time

That is the last time I stay up late to make a rotisserie chicken with salad. I tossed and turned all night....
21:49 Tue 08th May 2018
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marval

I Was Walking

I was walking past a take-away today. There was a sign in the window ‘Hot Dogs Served Here.’ I walked in and there was a sweaty poodle buying an ice cream....
18:44 Tue 08th May 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 19:44 Tue 08th May 2018
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marval

Steak

I asked the waiter for a rare steak. When it arrived I said “I asked for rare, this is well done!” “Thank you” he replied “The chef usually overcooks them.”...
16:06 Mon 07th May 20182 answers, last by marval 16:19 Mon 07th May 2018
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marval

I Bought

I bought some dog biscuits yesterday. Labrador flavour. I came third at the National Tanning Championships. I got bronze. I used to work at a garage that had a jet wash. It was pointless, there was...
15:36 Sun 06th May 2018
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marval

Dragons Den

I walked into a rather intimidating Dragons Den the other day. It sneezed and burnt my eyebrows off....
16:13 Sat 05th May 20181 answer, last by Voltage 16:17 Sat 05th May 2018
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marval

An Argument

I got into an argument with a man in a bar. I pulled a knife. He chatted up the fork....
22:28 Fri 04th May 20181 answer, last by jim360 22:30 Fri 04th May 2018
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marval

Fishing Trip

On a fishing trip to Australia, I was terrified when the biggest croc I had ever seen came floating past the boat. Must have been a size 16 at least. A man just hit me over the head with a device for...
21:45 Thu 03rd May 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 23:06 Thu 03rd May 2018

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