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marval

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marval

New Job

I got a job at Asda today, on the fish counter. I knew I Haddock in me. I told my wife that I got a new job as a puppeteer “How on earth did you do that?” she asked “I had to pull a few...
22:22 Tue 31st Jul 201811 answers, last by Shaglene 19:32 Wed 01st Aug 2018
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marval

One Knee

I was out having a nice Italian meal last night with my long term girlfriend. All of a sudden, I got out of my chair,and slowly got down on one knee. “Oh my god” my girlfriend shrieked. “Let me...
15:22 Sun 29th Jul 20183 answers, last by Voltage 20:17 Sun 29th Jul 2018
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marval

Complaint

I complained to my newsagent. “I’ve not received my copy of ‘Managing Confrontation’ this month.” He said, “Why, is there an issue?”...
18:48 Sat 28th Jul 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 13:29 Mon 30th Jul 2018
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marval

Mislead

I got called to see my boss on the first day of my new job. “I think you may have mislead us about your qualifications,” he said. “What do you mean,” I asked. “Well, you are the only...
16:00 Fri 27th Jul 20181 answer, last by DTCwordfan 16:32 Fri 27th Jul 2018
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marval

I Attended

I attended a health and safety course at work. All we did was sit in front of a fan, sipping ice cold drinks. Turns out, it was just a refresher course....
18:18 Tue 24th Jul 20183 answers, last by Voltage 19:13 Tue 24th Jul 2018
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marval

I Was

I was waiting in line for a club last night and the guy at the door was checking IDs. He was taking ages. The bank wants to repossess my tree-house. They say I haven’t kept up my mortgage payments...
18:14 Sun 22nd Jul 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 19:40 Mon 23rd Jul 2018
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marval

Naked

My friend has started abseiling naked for charity. I don’t think I could ever lower myself like that....
15:44 Fri 20th Jul 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 20:03 Fri 20th Jul 2018
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marval

Poor Chris

Chris, has worn glasses since the age of three. When he was in the first grade he came home one day very distressed. Wanting to find out what was the matter his mother asked, "Chris, what happened...
22:11 Thu 19th Jul 20183 answers, last by marval 15:28 Fri 20th Jul 2018
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marval

What Do I Look Like?

A farmer and his wife had worked hard, and scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being...
21:50 Tue 17th Jul 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 09:06 Wed 18th Jul 2018
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marval

Latest News

Latest news: ‘Ford Transit with gold encrusted seats stolen,’ Police believe the robber had an interior motive. It is not easy finding someone to cover me at work. I am a lazy bed tester. Tip of...
19:11 Sun 15th Jul 2018
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marval

I Have

I have been playing Guitar for two years, two weeks and 5 days. I should probably stop and have a rest. I can’t believe the price of bubble wrap now. It is five quid a pop. On my first day of...
22:53 Sat 14th Jul 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 10:21 Sun 15th Jul 2018
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marval

My Friend

My friend was very disappointed with his stag party. He asked for a night full of fit birds. Apparently the 2018 Doncaster pigeon race wasn’t what he had in mind....
20:29 Fri 13th Jul 20185 answers, last by Voltage 11:38 Sat 14th Jul 2018
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marval

I Bought

I bought my partner a camel-skin jacket for his birthday as a surprise. He got the hump. My friend just boasted about buying miniture pack of cards for a tenner. It’s no big deal. I have just drawn...
22:57 Wed 11th Jul 20183 answers, last by Arksided 16:47 Fri 13th Jul 2018
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marval

Sharing

After sharing a mixed grill at a racecourse with my partner. We thought we would go and place a few bets. When our stakes came up on the first race We decided, we won’t be eating there again....
17:54 Wed 11th Jul 20183 answers, last by marval 18:43 Wed 11th Jul 2018
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marval

Unusual

I was sat in the pub last night when a seven foot purple frog, wearing a top hat walked into the bar. I thought, “That’s unusual, frogs normally hop.”...
18:55 Tue 10th Jul 201832 answers, last by Voltage 17:55 Wed 11th Jul 2018
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marval

I Caught The Train

As I caught the train this morning, I thought, I wish my son would stop throwing his model railway out of the window. My partner is always ordering me around. In fact, I don’t think I have bought...
23:26 Sat 23rd Jun 20185 answers, last by smartypants10101 06:34 Tue 26th Jun 2018
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marval

I Was

I was absolutely furious when I got clamped after work today. I have told my partner a hundred times. Bondage night is only on a Tuesday....
19:07 Sat 23rd Jun 20182 answers, last by Voltage 19:32 Sat 23rd Jun 2018
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marval

My Fetish

I have a foot fetish. Anything measuring exactly 12 inches really turns me on. I have not been having much luck with the men lately. This week I have already had two pick me out of the lineup. My...
18:30 Thu 21st Jun 20186 answers, last by carlyle92 13:30 Fri 28th Aug 2020
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marval

Don't Look

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defence’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be...
22:32 Tue 19th Jun 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 11:13 Wed 20th Jun 2018
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marval

A Perfect Excuse

After a weekend vacation, a sergeant got to the military base only to find out that none of his soldiers made it on time. It took three hours before they started showing up. By then he was about to...
14:43 Sun 17th Jun 20181 answer, last by Chipchopper 08:14 Mon 18th Jun 2018

381 to 400 of 3998

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