One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and...
A British anthropologist was doing field research in an isolated African village, when a tribal chief asked if he would like to be his guest at a legal trial he was conducting later that day. "We have...
I'm not being paranoid but there's five Peruvian Owls standing on my garden fence.
Watching me through my kitchen window.
I'm sure they're Inca hoots....
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year- old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the...
It is a little-known fact that King Arthur had more knights than is usually believed. They included. The devastatingly handsome, but disappointingly shallow knight - Sir Face. Sir Pass – Arthur's...
A very frustrated man visits his doctor. “Doc, you’ve got to help me! My wife just isn’t interested in getting close anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her?” “Look, I...
For all who have difficulty converting units: Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope Time between...
Two guys were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams from the night before. "I dreamt I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod, and this big beautiful lake. What a...
A young woman and her husband both work full time, but the fellow never helps out around the house. To him, housework is woman's work. But one evening the woman comes home from work to find the...
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They were appalled by his appearance, leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled...
The Seven Qualities Of A Perfect Husband
Brave
Intelligent
Gentle
Polite
Energetic
Nutty
Industrious
Sensitive
And if all else fails, well read the capital letters only...
We’ve just had news of three important business mergers. Pie Records merged with Apple Records today to make Apple Pies. Hawker Aviation joined up with Cyril Lords to make flying carpets for the...
The Lord of the manor had a butler named Wibble. One day he called Wibble and said, "What about running my bath, Wibble?" "Certainly, Sir," replied Wibble. "Will there be anything else my lord?" "Yes,...
A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally...
I went to a casino last night and was stood next to a guy playing Blackjack. He kept having win after win after win. I couldn't believe his luck, and then I saw he was stood on what looked like a bit...
