I was trying to find some information, and happened on Yahoo Answers This question made think oh dear. Was Mary Queen of Scat and Bloody Mary the same person? Best answer: Ella Fitzgerald was the...
A jelly baby walks in to a bar and starts talking to a smartie. After a few beers the smartie says: "A bunch of us are heading to that new club. Fancy tagging along?" "No thanks," the jelly baby...
It was Friday afternoon during the rush hour on the Circle Line. The train was packed with weary commuters when a pretty young lady turned to a man squashed against her. "Will you please stop pushing...
An Irishman see’s a job advert published on a building site, ‘handy man wanted apply within’. So he goes and speaks to the foreman. Foreman: can you drive a fork-lift truck? Irish man: No...
An drunk Irishman was sitting at a bar when suddenly at the other end of the bar appeared a leprechaun. The Irishman caught the leprechaun’s eye and the leprechaun came to sit beside him. “Sure...
A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, her mum forgot...
What Cats Do For Us Warm our laps Give us someone to talk to Help reduce high blood pressure Bring the winter air inside, nestled in their coats Create a kindred feeling with other "cat people" Turn...
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the...
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered, and a passenger looked out the window. "Good Lord!" he screamed, "One of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats and came...
Having won last night, I would like to buy you all a drink.
The trouble is I only won £8.30, so it could just be a glass of water.
At least it paid for the ticket with a bit extra....
Joan, who was rather well proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could...
As the storm raged, the captain realised his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the...
Little Johnny has a problem. He swears too much. He swears like a sailor. Johnny's teacher is aware of this, so she is going to be extra careful not to let Johnny swear today. "Okay, class. We're...
Can be prepared 20 years ahead. Ingredients: Crust: 1 hard-skinned hubby 1 comfortable sofa Filling: 1 TV remote control 6 pack of beer 1 packet chips (crisps) 1 family size pizza 1 large serving...
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, "Well, son, they're making a puppy." The following...
An extremely shy fellow once brought his date a bouquet of flowers. She threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard. After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door. She exclaimed, "Oh!...
A guy gets home from work one night and hears a little voice. The little voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." The man is disturbed at what he hears and...
The head of an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just...
The difference between big and small Big Busted Women Can get a taxi on the worst days Have a neat place to carry spare change Make jogging a spectator sport Can keep a magazine dry while lying in the...
