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Patsy33

1581 to 1600 of 1972

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Patsy33
I knocked my head a few days ago which made me cry. Not long after had floaters in my right eye. Then when I went to bed had a continuous spark like light at side of my eye. I phoned Optician and they...
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Patsy33
Old lady gets caught shoplifting. On court day the lady and her husband who goes with her stands before the judge and he says to her, "Why did you shoplift?" And she says "I was hungry." The judge...
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Patsy33
I failed my driver's test today. I was asked what I'd do at a red light. I said that I usually check my emails and see what my friends are up to on Facebook.
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Patsy33
After her eighth child, Cheryl decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her bomb doors were dangling a bit too low and...
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Patsy33
Paddy comes home from work to find his wife propping up her washing machine on one side with two bricks. "What the feck are you doing?" asks Paddy. His wife replies, "Doing the washing at 30 degrees...
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Patsy33
“I don’t find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency.”...
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Patsy33
Have you seen the latest fashion must have? It's a shirt made out of paper. I've tried one and it's tearable!
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Patsy33
Fairy cakes. Rock climbing. Blood groups Nerve endings...
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Patsy33
Mr whippy was found dead today with a flake up his bottom, chocolate sprinkles on his manhood, and strawberry sauce on his testicles, police think he topped himself...:)
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Patsy33
For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money...
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Patsy33
A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to...
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Patsy33
I don't see why people make such a fuss about immigration. All my neighbours are English. All the kids in the local school are English. All the local shopkeepers are English..... I love it here in...
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Patsy33
My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch. I said: “How can you say such a thing?”....
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Patsy33
Start preparing for Christmas early by falling out with friends and family now!
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Patsy33
A British Rail worker has been arrested for a criminal offence. Police believe he's been covering his tracks.
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Patsy33
Swiss bank. A guy whispers: – “I want to open a bank account for 2 million dollars.” Swiss Banker answers: – “You can say it louder. In our bank poverty is no crime.”....
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Patsy33
1.Put back writer in church. It's not much to ask for....(8) 2. In trench, worshiper turns into architect. (11,4) 3. Points across the water on TV. (4,7) 4.The river has no right. Figure it out..(5)...
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Patsy33
During a recent PASSWORD AUDIT at the Bank of Ireland It was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyDublin When Paddy was asked why he had...
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Patsy33
My friend said to me, “I hear the FBI have foiled a terrorist plot to kill Donald trump.” “What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked. “No, a surface to hair missile.”....

1581 to 1600 of 1972

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