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Patsy33

1641 to 1660 of 1972

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Patsy33

Tommy Cooper Gem..

A jump-lead walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman said, "I'll serve you this time, but start anything!".......
21:13 Thu 28th Jul 201656 answers, last by Patsy33 23:20 Sat 30th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Low Blood Pressure

Been feeling a little weak and shaky last couple of days. I took my blood pressure this afternoon and it was 95/55. I think that's a bit too low? Can anyone advise?...
19:56 Thu 28th Jul 201613 answers, last by Patsy33 22:18 Fri 29th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Not So Funny...

My husband thought he was being funny when he suggested I wash my knickers in Slim Fast. He said it might reduce the size of my fat ***! So, next morning as he was looking for a pair of his pants...
11:00 Thu 28th Jul 20163 answers, last by marval 15:31 Thu 28th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Cryptic

1.Set about more than once, the pest!(6) 2.Gem sounds like an entrance (4) 3.Somehow, made alcohol (4)...
21:56 Wed 27th Jul 20167 answers, last by JJ109 22:16 Wed 27th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Cryptic. ( For Fun)

1.Ivy's cut back to show her figure.(4) 2.Leave a horse the French might use under water.(7) 3.Young lady is; Point 1, very silent, I see a flower.(11) 4.A month to exist possibly? (5) 5.He would like...
14:58 Wed 27th Jul 201611 answers, last by Patsy33 20:00 Wed 27th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Left Overs.

House party- there's always one left over in the morning! Lying on the floor behind the sofa, legless, can't stand! Asked where he lived then dragged him up, pulled him down the path to the car,...
10:18 Wed 27th Jul 20168 answers, last by Patsy33 10:52 Thu 28th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Car Repair

I heard the new auto body shop that opened comes highly wreck-a-mended.
20:08 Tue 26th Jul 20166 answers, last by 1ozzy 01:26 Wed 27th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

As I Suspected!

I suspected for sometime that my female boss was a bloke, so today as she bent over I put my hand up her skirt to check. Just like I thought....I got the sack!:)...
15:07 Mon 25th Jul 20163 answers, last by Patsy33 09:55 Wed 27th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Shorts

As its been so hot of late, my boss has said we can bring shorts in. Jack Daniels it is then!...
11:08 Mon 25th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Out Of Tune?

I was playing my guitar tonight and singing. My husband suggested my G string was a little tight. I reminded him I was wearing my big comfy knickers...
20:38 Sun 24th Jul 20161 answer, last by zebo 20:52 Sun 24th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

A Change.

How do you know your husband is a transvestite? When he wants to eat, drink and be Mary.....
08:53 Sun 24th Jul 20164 answers, last by Patsy33 16:59 Sun 24th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Panties.

Mr Smith said his neighbour accused him of stealing her panties off the washing line. I asked him how he felt about such an accusation. He said he nearly shat her pants!.....
11:50 Sat 23rd Jul 20163 answers, last by marval 16:57 Sat 23rd Jul 2016
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Patsy33

A Good Deal.

Just been to Tescos and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas. Can't believe the currant exchange rate!......
23:42 Wed 20th Jul 20168 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 20:10 Thu 21st Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Stolen.

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay! You have my Word.....
17:27 Wed 20th Jul 20168 answers, last by marval 20:26 Wed 20th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Distracted.

I get distracted at the deli meat counter. It must be my short attention spam........
09:17 Tue 19th Jul 20163 answers, last by Patsy33 18:34 Tue 19th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Claustrophobic.

I get really claustrophobic in elevators. I've now started taking steps to avoid it.
21:57 Fri 15th Jul 20167 answers, last by marval 11:26 Sat 16th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Cryptic

Confusion, as roofer and soldier in Asia discover author. (6,8)
22:05 Thu 14th Jul 20165 answers, last by scorpiojo 10:03 Fri 15th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Keep Fit.

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we still have no idea where the hell she is....
19:11 Wed 13th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Bubble Wrap.

I asked my boss, "What shall I do with this 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?" He replied. "Pop in in the corner" "It took me four bluddy hours to do it!........
16:27 Wed 13th Jul 20164 answers, last by marval 17:06 Wed 13th Jul 2016
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Patsy33

Brilliant Deduction

Sherlock Holmes turned to Dr. Watson and announced, "The murderer lives in the house with the yellow door" "Good grief Holmes!" said Watson. "How on earth did you deduce that?" "It's a lemon entry, my...
11:31 Wed 13th Jul 20164 answers, last by Ellipsis 11:50 Wed 13th Jul 2016

1641 to 1660 of 1972

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