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Patsy33

1681 to 1700 of 1937

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Patsy33

So Low.

A midget was complaining to a police officer that someone picked his pockets. "I can't believe someone would stoop so low" responded the police officer......
13:43 Thu 09th Jun 20166 answers, last by Patsy33 20:58 Thu 09th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Unholy.

Did you hear about the nun who got expelled? She had dirty habits......
08:06 Thu 09th Jun 20163 answers, last by marval 19:10 Thu 09th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Will It Hurt?

"Im getting circumcised tomorrow" says Paddy. "Oh, I had that done when I was a few days old" says Mick. Paddy asks, "Does it hurt?" "Well, I couldn't walk for nearly a year after" days Mick.........
19:28 Wed 08th Jun 20161 answer, last by marval 19:33 Wed 08th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Privacy....

I put up a high-voltage electric fence over the weekend. My neighbour is dead against it....
16:11 Wed 08th Jun 201618 answers, last by vulcan42 09:08 Thu 09th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Chocolate.

I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could it be a Chinese whispa?......
22:19 Tue 07th Jun 201612 answers, last by Hopkirk 09:09 Wed 08th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Slugs

How can I protect my new kidney beans from slugs eating them? I don't really want to use slug pellets. Is their a natural solution?? Tia
11:57 Tue 07th Jun 201621 answers, last by Old_Geezer 17:15 Fri 10th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

On The Take

I'm a kleptomaniac. When it gets bad, I take something for it.....
10:01 Tue 07th Jun 20168 answers, last by Patsy33 10:40 Tue 07th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Kettle

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle?" This bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"...
22:27 Mon 06th Jun 201615 answers, last by Patsy33 10:16 Tue 07th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Don't Shoot!

When William joined the army, he disliked the phrase, "fire at will'..........
13:51 Mon 06th Jun 20161 answer, last by marval 21:46 Mon 06th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Sing Up!

I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.........
09:33 Sun 05th Jun 20161 answer, last by Patsy33 08:00 Tue 07th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Rude Awakening.

How do you wake Lady Ga Ga up? Poke 'er face....
23:05 Sat 04th Jun 20167 answers, last by 1ozzy 00:29 Sun 05th Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Word Play.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really, it was just a play on words.
14:33 Fri 03rd Jun 201612 answers, last by Patsy33 23:18 Fri 03rd Jun 2016
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Patsy33

A Banker No More.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest....
14:01 Fri 03rd Jun 20168 answers, last by marval 21:53 Fri 03rd Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Popping Up.

My horoscope said an ex would be popping up. I've been down the canal all day and thankfully there has been no sign of him....
00:21 Fri 03rd Jun 20162 answers, last by marval 11:58 Fri 03rd Jun 2016
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Patsy33

Ufo's

It was about the late eighties, if I remember correctly, in N.Somerset. My mother, who couldn't sleep very well due to arthritis in her knee, got up to take some painkillers and made herself a drink....
23:25 Wed 01st Jun 201616 answers, last by 10ClarionSt 15:53 Thu 02nd Jun 2016
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Patsy33

High Minded...

My doctor thinks I'm taking hallucinogenic drugs. How do I know? Let's just say a little bird told me.......
22:24 Wed 01st Jun 20169 answers, last by 1ozzy 23:44 Wed 01st Jun 2016
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Patsy33

A Sign.

There's a sign on the lawn outside the re-hab centre saying, Keep off the grass...
21:42 Wed 01st Jun 20166 answers, last by Patsy33 22:05 Wed 01st Jun 2016
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Patsy33

New Broom.

A new type of broom has come out. It is sweeping the nation.......
21:49 Tue 31st May 201611 answers, last by Patsy33 23:56 Tue 31st May 2016
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Patsy33

Off Colour.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor said I was ok but I feel as if I dyed a little inside.....
12:09 Tue 31st May 201612 answers, last by EDDIE51 22:57 Tue 31st May 2016
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Patsy33

Acupuncture.

Don't trust people that do acupuncture. They're back stabbers....
19:33 Sun 29th May 20165 answers, last by 1ozzy 09:12 Tue 31st May 2016

1681 to 1700 of 1937

First Previous 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 Next Last