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Patsy33

1661 to 1680 of 1972

First Previous 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 Next Last

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Patsy33
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet...
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Patsy33
My son sent me a link from Daily Telegraph tonight, warning people that Ibuprofen can cause heart failure. ( Sorry can't do the link) I won't be taking them again. Probably just stick to Paracetamol,...
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Patsy33
I had an unemployed dwarf do a few jobs for me. He asked if he could be payed under the table...
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Patsy33
My son wanted a scooter. I said they were too dangerous. So he just moped round the kitchen...
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Patsy33
My friend said her husband takes Viagra for his sunburn. She said it doesn't treat the sunburn but keeps the sheets off his legs at night....
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Patsy33
I had a text from my wife earlier saying she was in casualty. Well, I watched the whole 50 minutes and I haven't seen her once. I'm still waiting and I'm starving!....
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Patsy33
I went to the shopping centre today. Once you've seen one, you've seen the mall...
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Patsy33
I know of someone who jumped off a bridge in Paris. He was in Seine....
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Patsy33
What's the difference between a tragedy and a catastrophe? A tragedy is a ship full of bankers going down in a storm; a catastrophe is when they can all swim......
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Patsy33
Hi Ed, because I've only just corrected my old email, I have lost email responses of any best answers. Not sure if I do have any- but would like to see. Is there a way of getting them up?(not very...
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Patsy33
Hi Ed, I need to change my email address on my private details. Unfortunately, I've forgotten my password word! Any suggestions?...
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Patsy33
I suffer from acid reflux from time to time and for the most part is controlled with omeprazole. The last couple of days, when I breathe in my breast bone and back feels sore. It's probably inflamed...
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Patsy33
What do you call a flying primate? A hot air baboon..........
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Patsy33
1.Reveal I ruined her (7) 2.Damaged listener has boy to make sense (6) 3.Left bend she finds abroad (8) 4.Word play has young adolescent excited, out of this world! (7) 5.File a grand quietly somehow,...
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Patsy33
Two flies playing football in a saucer. One says to the other,"Make an effort, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".......
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Patsy33
I've just got back from a friend's funeral. He died after being hit in the head by a tennis ball. It really was a wonderful service...
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Patsy33
I used to have a recurring nightmare about a fruit machine. My wife would always nudge and hold me which just made it worse...
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Patsy33
Woo hoo!! Wales scored another! 3-1:-)
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Patsy33
A Chinese man faked his own death. His family were suspicious. They didn't bereave him.....
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Patsy33
I wanted to lose weight. So I went to the paint store where I could get thinner...

1661 to 1680 of 1972

First Previous 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 Next Last