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tonyav

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Jemisa

'99'

An old man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says,...
17:50 Mon 25th Mar 20134 answers, last by aelmpvw 17:56 Mon 25th Mar 2013
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excelsior-1

I Am Wearing The New ....

...breadcrumb scented after-shave. The birds love it....
19:40 Tue 19th Mar 201324 answers, last by Psybbo 20:13 Tue 19th Mar 2013
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Jemisa

Got The Itch...

A woman shopping at Tesco takes a fancy to the young man who is filling her shopping bags, and she thinks to herself "what a nice bum and lovely blue eyes, what I couldn't do to him". She stands...
12:55 Sun 17th Mar 20138 answers, last by Jemisa 13:54 Sun 17th Mar 2013
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moggie 939

Removing A Towbar - Urgent Advice Please

Hi I have just upgraded my car to a 55 plate Renault Scenic and it has a tow bar fitted (from when it was new). I don't like tow bars and want to get it taken of. Am I correct in assuming that a...
09:17 Sun 17th Mar 20135 answers, last by moggie 939 07:55 Wed 20th Mar 2013
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excelsior-1

I Am An Excellent Snooker Player

i could play for hours, and never lose a single ball down one if those holes...
17:58 Thu 14th Mar 201310 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:43 Thu 14th Mar 2013
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excelsior-1

I Have A Portable Stereo ....

....that looks like a large cake it’s a gateaux blaster...
17:11 Mon 11th Mar 201311 answers, last by Svejk 18:14 Mon 11th Mar 2013
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excelsior-1

A Shoe Factory Has Burnt Down

two hundred soles were lost...
16:53 Mon 11th Mar 201321 answers, last by Svejk 18:26 Mon 11th Mar 2013
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sidkid

Elton John

has got so fat recently that he's having his trousers made to measure..........Goodbye Normal Jeans
19:10 Fri 08th Mar 201311 answers, last by tonyav 12:37 Sat 09th Mar 2013
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desktop

Charlie Drake Song Lyrics I Get Up Every Morning Cos I Only Do What A Blokehould Do

what is this song called please thanks
12:52 Mon 04th Mar 20133 answers, last by factor-fiction 22:15 Mon 04th Mar 2013
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noviceman1

Petrol Lawnmower

Hi all I have purchased a petrol lawnmower about a year ago,all my others have been electric ones.I have put petrol in as required,but have not put any oil in it since new.I must admit i know very...
22:01 Sat 02nd Mar 20139 answers, last by noviceman1 21:01 Tue 05th Mar 2013
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carolegif

The Queen Has Got The Dreaded Bug!

I do feel sorry for her, but I see on the news that she visited a hospital a couple of days ago. I wonder?..........
09:33 Sat 02nd Mar 201317 answers, last by carolegif 17:24 Sun 03rd Mar 2013
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emmie

Home Phones

I am looking at replacing the current home phone, has anyone a recommendation before i go looking. It needs to be a cordless twin handset, with answerphone. I have looked online, there's lots of...
07:33 Sat 23rd Feb 201313 answers, last by em10 17:38 Sat 23rd Feb 2013
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vernonk

Why Do Ireland Have Two National Anthems Played For Them Before A Match?

Why can"t England also have Land Of Hope And Glory or Rule Britannia then?...
15:00 Sun 10th Feb 20137 answers, last by Mags22 16:03 Sun 10th Feb 2013
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mrspask

Car Ownership

How do I find the owner of my recently bought used car.I would like to be sure it has not been "clocked"!...
07:56 Fri 08th Feb 201319 answers, last by mrspask 09:20 Tue 12th Feb 2013
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LochNessMonster

Funny Joke For You All (Bit Rude)

This farmer's ram dies just before lambing season. So he phones his neighbour who is also a famer and asks him how much would it cost him to buy a ram from him. He reply's £3000 ! the bloke say's he...
12:15 Thu 31st Jan 20138 answers, last by Baldric 12:39 Thu 31st Jan 2013
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MadMen

Light Bulb Keeps Blowing

When I switch on the light in one particular room it blows (if that's the right word) and makes all the other lights in that part of the house go off. I can resolve this by flicking the trip switch...
09:06 Thu 31st Jan 201325 answers, last by craft1948 17:20 Thu 31st Jan 2013
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gollob

It Is With Deep Regret That The Man Who Wrote The Oke-Koke Died Last Week

It took the undertakers three hours to get him in the coffin.
12:40 Wed 16th Jan 20131 answer, last by tonyav 12:41 Wed 16th Jan 2013
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Jemisa

Sandwich...

I do love a boiled egg and sliced tomato sandwich spread with 'Lurpak' butter & a sprinkle of salt, thats my lunch today washed down with a N.A.S. can of Vimto Have you got a fav sandwich? Jem....
12:46 Sat 12th Jan 201320 answers, last by missprim 14:37 Sat 12th Jan 2013
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Jemisa

Railway Lines

Two drunks were walking upgrade between the railroad tracks. One of them said, "This is is longest stairway I have ever been on." To this, the other replied, "It's not the stairs that bother me, it's...
14:21 Thu 10th Jan 20135 answers, last by tonyav 18:08 Thu 10th Jan 2013
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excelsior-1

Two Flies Are Sitting On Robinson Crusoes' Knee

one of them says "i have to go now .. see you on friday"...
22:11 Fri 04th Jan 201329 answers, last by thetaliesin 01:23 Sat 05th Jan 2013

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