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Voltage

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Oh Well Packed Up N Ready To Go!

All packed up for move tomorrow morning. ..weather report looks dismal rain rain and more rain! So if anyone knows a non-rain dance ...get dancing;-) please!...
15:51 Wed 30th May 201817 answers, last by jno 09:52 Thu 31st May 2018
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Voltage

Heartbreaking!

Got phone call this morning FIL taken turn for the worse in hospital so we got up there asap....he has been in there for 4 weeks ...the utter shock of seeing how he had deteriorated to absolutely...
14:43 Sun 27th May 201845 answers, last by marval 14:39 Mon 28th May 2018
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Keyboard Keeps Changing To Us From Gb

Wife's desktop.... lately her keyboard keeps changing from gb to us settings why? It's easy enough to change it back to gb settings but I don't understand why it keeps doing it?...
12:41 Sun 27th May 20185 answers, last by Voltage 13:28 Sun 27th May 2018
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Queen!

I've Just broken two of my dads old Queen records! Now I want to break three....
10:21 Sat 26th May 20187 answers, last by Voltage 17:13 Sat 26th May 2018
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My Mate!

My mate's just not the same since he almost drowned in a vat of lemon juice.. It's left him very bitter....
14:30 Fri 25th May 201815 answers, last by Arksided 15:53 Fri 25th May 2018
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Blind Surgeon!

Did you hear about the blind circumcisionist surgeon ? He got the sack!...
11:41 Thu 24th May 201824 answers, last by Bazile 18:11 Thu 24th May 2018
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My Wife's 50Th !

It was my wife's 50th birthday today and she's been trying to convince everyone that age hasn't taken it's toll. "Look!" She gasped. "I can still touch my toes!" "That's great hun" I said. "Though I'm...
08:59 Thu 24th May 201815 answers, last by marval 16:21 Thu 24th May 2018
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Hooray!

After 19 months of being told that our house is to be knocked down (highways England compulsory purchase order)today finally we exchanged contracts and are at last moving next Thursday.. if I never...
17:02 Wed 23rd May 201831 answers, last by twix123 21:40 Wed 30th May 2018
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How To Impress A Woman!

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine & dine her, buy her gifts, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support...
10:21 Mon 21st May 20184 answers, last by Jomlett 18:40 Tue 22nd May 2018
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If You Lose One Sense!

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced. That's why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance....
07:50 Mon 21st May 201812 answers, last by Patsy33 13:04 Mon 21st May 2018
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Google!

google wont let me use fortnight for my password....its two week!
19:17 Thu 17th May 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 19:39 Thu 17th May 2018
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Surprise!

I've just arrived in Australia to surprise my fiancée. She's in London and the wedding's tomorrow....
13:20 Thu 17th May 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 16:02 Thu 17th May 2018
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Weddings!

At weddings old people always poke me and say you'll be next! It's so annoying!... so.. I've started doing the same to them at funerals....
11:57 Thu 17th May 20182 answers, last by spathiphyllum 12:01 Thu 17th May 2018
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I'm Looking For?

i'm looking for songs to do with fish? let minnow if you know any!...
16:45 Wed 16th May 201883 answers, last by marval 18:56 Thu 17th May 2018
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I Helped!

I helped my suicidal friend by throwing him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits....
18:53 Tue 15th May 201812 answers, last by Voltage 08:19 Wed 16th May 2018
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A Note On The Fridge!

My wife left a note on the fridge, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore, I'm going to my mums house!" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold. What is she talking about?...
14:35 Tue 15th May 201812 answers, last by DTCwordfan 16:43 Tue 15th May 2018
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Two Men !

Two men dressed in armour walk into a hotel and walk up to the receptionist. One asks 'A room for two knights please...
18:20 Mon 14th May 201819 answers, last by spathiphyllum 12:27 Tue 15th May 2018
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Starting Up My Own Business!

I'm looking at starting up my own business recycling discarded chewing gum. I just need help getting it off the ground......!!...
11:58 Mon 14th May 201810 answers, last by Patsy33 13:02 Mon 14th May 2018
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Invisible!

They all mocked me when I told them one day I would learn the secret of invisibility. If only they could see me now!...
08:40 Sun 13th May 20189 answers, last by jno 22:50 Sun 13th May 2018
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Brown Envelope !

Got a brown envelope through the door this morning that said ‘Do not bend!’ I thought "How the hell am I going to pick that up then?"...
15:17 Sat 12th May 20185 answers, last by Chipchopper 19:18 Sat 12th May 2018

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