Donate SIGN UP

Voltage

81 to 100 of 545

First Previous 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next Last

Avatar Image
Voltage

At The Italian!

The waiter at our local italian restaurant asked if "would you like some fresh ground pepper on your pasta". "OK" I replied. "Tell me when". "Well Before I eat it would be nice"....
14:20 Mon 02nd Jul 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 15:39 Mon 02nd Jul 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Kamikase

Last night was the 1st kamikaze pilot’s reunion dinner. .....but no one showed up....
07:33 Mon 02nd Jul 20188 answers, last by Patsy33 11:01 Mon 02nd Jul 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Weather?

When it's sunny I think 'Beer garden.' When it rains I usually go to the pub for a while. When it's snowing I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of Beer. I'm starting to think I have a real...
23:24 Sat 30th Jun 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 11:38 Sun 01st Jul 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Have You?

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick? If so You may be entitled to personal Ian Dury compensation....
15:42 Fri 29th Jun 20182 answers, last by murraymints 09:49 Mon 02nd Jul 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Paddy Wants A Car Loan!

Paddy wants a car loan and walks into Barclays. Bank Cashier: "Sorry Mr Murphy but the Loan Arranger is on a course today Paddy: "Fek!!... What about Tonto is he about?"...
19:41 Wed 27th Jun 20185 answers, last by DTCwordfan 20:41 Wed 27th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Lego!

My mate has swallowed some Lego. The doctor's aren't too worried, but he's shiitting bricks....
06:37 Wed 27th Jun 20184 answers, last by Shaglene 14:10 Sat 30th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Ladies Cricket!

Well I've just been along to see the ladies cricket team for the first time. Glad I did... There was a woman bowler with big boobs, who took long run-ups ..what a bowler! You should have seen her...
15:08 Mon 25th Jun 20181 answer, last by Shaglene 14:13 Sat 30th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

So....!

So Julie the Sultana has been cheating on her husband with Steve the Raisin. Just tho you I'd keep you up to date with currant affairs....
16:18 Sat 23rd Jun 20189 answers, last by Spicerack 18:02 Sat 23rd Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Scotland..world Cup!

The nearest Scotland will get to another World Cup is if Iran played Brunei and the scoreboard said IRN - BRU!! :-) :-)...
16:00 Fri 22nd Jun 201811 answers, last by tonyav 22:38 Fri 22nd Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Been Warned!

My wife warned me not to keep stealing kitchen utensils. But it’s a whisk I’m willing to take....
14:40 Fri 22nd Jun 20187 answers, last by Voltage 16:29 Sat 23rd Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

A Busker!

I just left the train station and a busker just ran up to me and said he was going to beat me with the neck of his guitar! I said, is that a fret?...
12:23 Thu 21st Jun 20189 answers, last by Shaglene 14:26 Sat 30th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Knock On My Door!

The police knocked on my door this evening. "Where were you around 8:05 last night sir?" asked the officer. "Funny you should ask," I replied. "I took the wife upstairs at 8 pm to make love." "That's...
10:12 Thu 21st Jun 20183 answers, last by marval 16:39 Thu 21st Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

My Wife ..again!

My wife says she’s leaving me as she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy. Jeez What planet is she on?...
10:18 Tue 19th Jun 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 12:03 Tue 19th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Two Lions!

I saw two male lions having sex in the local zoo... I thought jeeeze have they got no pride....
15:28 Mon 18th Jun 20186 answers, last by Chipchopper 17:20 Mon 18th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

World Cup Tonight ....england V Tunisia

England v Tunisia tonight any thoughts on the score? I'm going for 0-0 bore draw!...
15:21 Mon 18th Jun 201890 answers, last by Cloverjo 23:33 Mon 18th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Cluedo !!

Just bought Cluedo "Swingers Edition"... Turns out they all did it... In every room!...
12:30 Sat 16th Jun 20184 answers, last by marval 16:15 Sat 16th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

Sat Next To Me On The Train !

This guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.” He...
09:10 Thu 14th Jun 20186 answers, last by Bazile 21:00 Thu 14th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

I'm In A&e!

Sat in A&E at the hospital right now after burning my feet badly. All I wanted was some hot dog sausages. Instructions on the tin said, 'Stand in a saucepan of boiling water for 2 minutes........'...
16:39 Wed 13th Jun 20187 answers, last by Chipchopper 07:56 Thu 14th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

World Cup!

I gave my wife £200 and told her to go out on Thursday and leave me in peace to watch the World Cup. "I won't need that much," she laughed. "You will," I said. "It's got to last you five weeks."...
14:32 Mon 11th Jun 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 14:23 Tue 12th Jun 2018
Avatar Image
Voltage

My Wedding Night!

I remember my wedding night, my missus got undressed and lay out spreadeagled on the bed. She said "You know what I want don't you"? I replied "Yes, by the looks of it, the whole bloody bed"...
20:00 Fri 08th Jun 201815 answers, last by Arksided 15:02 Sun 10th Jun 2018

81 to 100 of 545

First Previous 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next Last