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Voltage

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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Thursday. Nippy this morning. The rain we were told wasn't going to happen, and I said was, did! I love it when I'm right and the experts are wrong. :o} It's still wet, more rain to come. Got some...
05:15 Thu 19th Oct 2017162 answers, last by donny48 08:56 Thu 19th Oct 2017
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Patsy33

I Asked

I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he's had, he started counting then fell asleep....
21:44 Wed 18th Oct 201713 answers, last by sapelesam 15:00 Thu 19th Oct 2017
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Patsy33

My Mother

My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements, until one day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday Times.
10:15 Wed 18th Oct 201722 answers, last by Patsy33 21:34 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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marval

I Went

“I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. "‘Why do you feel like that?" he asked. "Because, I’ve got tyre marks on my legs.” I replied....
18:49 Wed 18th Oct 20175 answers, last by Shaglene 15:02 Thu 19th Oct 2017
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Shaglene

Women Golfers.............

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his...
16:07 Wed 18th Oct 20177 answers, last by Patsy33 17:09 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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yogi-bear

The 'chat About Absolutely Anything' Thread

Afternoon all...... Anything you like... i will start with a little whinge....happened earlier. Why do people keep walking, whilst texting on their mobile phones, and then collide into innocent...
15:52 Wed 18th Oct 201759 answers, last by jno 23:14 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Shaglene

Did That Hurt.............

It was 5:00 in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walks in and bellows, "This is an inspection! I want...
16:05 Wed 18th Oct 20175 answers, last by marval 18:56 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Patsy33

Guy

Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start."'...
14:01 Wed 18th Oct 201712 answers, last by Patsy33 16:37 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Voltage

The Preacher's Wife

The preacher's wife was making Sunday dinner, when the preacher walked in the house and says "that ham smells wonderful." His wife replies "That's a Dam-Ham." The preacher was surprised by his wife's...
15:31 Wed 18th Oct 20174 answers, last by Voltage 15:47 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Shaglene

A Fairy Tale...........

Once upon a time there lived a King who had the most beautiful daughter. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.. No matter what: Metal, Wood, Stone Anything she touched...
15:34 Wed 18th Oct 20173 answers, last by Bazile 15:44 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Shaglene

Mushrooms...........

She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them. Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild...
15:19 Wed 18th Oct 20172 answers, last by Patsy33 15:31 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Voltage

At The Theatre!

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but...
15:04 Wed 18th Oct 20176 answers, last by zebo 16:26 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Voltage

Accident Site

I was walking down the street earlier today when a lorry driver pulled up alongside me and said, "Excuse me, I'm looking for the the accident site involving a van carrying a load of cutlery." "No...
10:29 Wed 18th Oct 20175 answers, last by Voltage 13:47 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Bazile

Mine's A Double

Two penguins walk into a bar... which is odd really , cos you would have thought , one of them would have seen it .
13:42 Wed 18th Oct 20178 answers, last by jno 13:59 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Voltage

Clock Maker!

My father made clocks for a living .... he was always busy he had no time for me..that used to wind me up!!
11:07 Wed 18th Oct 201723 answers, last by marval 19:09 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Islay

Storm Aftermath

Well did anyone have any issues after the storm yesterday? We lost 2 trees and several roof tiles and a load of lead flashing! Landlady on the ball and the roofers are out already putting scaffolding...
16:54 Tue 17th Oct 201734 answers, last by Islay 11:24 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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LittleSquidge

What Act Has Done The Most Farewell Tours?

We have a running joke in our family that David Essex does a farewell tour every three years! His gaps mean my Mother has now finally lived more years, than times she has seen him live. Oh dear!...
23:01 Mon 16th Oct 20176 answers, last by Voltage 08:15 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Wednesday. We had a lovely day yesterday. The weather was good, just a wee shower, while we were in the museum, so it didn't matter. We stopped at a country inn for a meal on the way home. The service...
05:07 Wed 18th Oct 2017136 answers, last by 1ozzy 08:29 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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Voltage

Carpet Layer!

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense...
07:19 Wed 18th Oct 201710 answers, last by marval 18:17 Wed 18th Oct 2017
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marval

Whistle

Young Gordon was with his parents and they were taking refreshments in the bar at Reading station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover...
21:59 Tue 17th Oct 20174 answers, last by Shaglene 14:04 Wed 18th Oct 2017

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