Quizzes & Puzzles2 mins ago
One day Pinochio came to Gepetto with a problem. "Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?" "Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to...
Drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then...
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lookout for a gang of thieves who have been cutting down Christmas trees and selling them on the black market.
A spokes person for the forestry commission said "so far we're stumped"...
A Scotsman steps into a wee baker's on Sauciehall Street and points to an item in the display cabinet. He asks the assistant lassie, "Is that a macaroon or a meringue." "Noo," relies the lassie,...
Dai, our local milk man had never travelled outside Wales. He booked a holiday in the deep west of the USA. While there in a local bar he noticed a red Indian sitting alone in the corner, he asked the...
Passenger to Airline Ticket Agent: "I want my brown suitcase sent to Leeds airport, my green suitcase sent to Cardiff, and my tan suitcase sent to Birmingham." Ticket Agent: "I'm sorry, sir; this...
Ive just going out my Great Grandad was at the Battle of the Little Bighorn. He wasn't involved in the battle. He was camping in a field nearby . He was very brave . He went and complained about the...
£7.50 to see Father Christmas! Waited in the queue for ages for a ONE-minute meeting and a proper rubbish toy, what a rip-off, FUMING!!
So glad I never took the kids!...
I left school 40 years ago but I’m still angry at my classmates for voting me the pupil most likely to hold a grudge....
Bruce Willis will probably keep on making action movies.
You know what they say about old habits......
A man was invited to a fancy dress party, and came into the lounge with a pile of mashed potato on his head. “What on earth are you going as??” asked his wife. “I’m going as a spy.” he said. “What...
An old man opened the curtains to allow the sun to fill the room with light. He stood there gazing up at the grey cloudy sky. His wife said, "what's that ringing sound" ?. And her husband replied, "it...
Just been to the Tesco garage to get a sandwich & a packet of crisps. The guy behind the counter asked if I wanted to go for a drink. “I’m sorry“, I said, “But I’m married”. He looked me up and down...
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Business has been booming since, I started using my attic space to manufacture yachts.
It's a bit cramped, but I can say the sails have been going through the roof!...
Did you know that Owls can't breed in the rain?......It's too wet to woo.
A dear old lady was staying in a hotel in a small country town and could not get to sleep because of the noise emanating from a party on the ground floor. At first, she bore it stoically. But at about...
A businessman goes to Japan on a business trip. He hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place where he can get a pizza. The concierge tells him he will call for...
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