Quizzes & Puzzles7 mins ago
Last night whilst watching tv, Dave said to his wife "you know what? You're the absolute double of Jennifer Aniston". She gave him a cheeky grin & said "really?" He said "yes sweetheart she's 9 stone...
I Can Take A Hint..
The wife keeps hinting she would like something in Silk for Christmas.
But no doubt this tin of emulsion will be in the wrong flipping colour....
A Yorkshire farmer comes down off the hills to the vet in the village. Nah then , vetinry" he says "Ah wants thee to neuter me cat". "Oh" says the vet "Is it a Tom?" "No yer daft ***, it's here,...
I call my wife She tells me my dog, Slimey, just took a dump on the new carpet. I'm like, "Shoot him." She goes, "That's just like you, Ronnie. I have a genuine problem, and you're being sarcastic."...
“The spread of COVID is directly linked to how dense the population is, and some of the population are really quite flipping dense.”...
I need to re home a small Yorkshire terrier, it’s very friendly and great with kids, but tends to bark a lot. If anyone is interested let me know and I will jump over next doors fence and get it for...
It's wonderful! All the doors are opened for me by my daddy's contacts...
A woman discovered her husband in agony on the bedroom floor! After being rushed to hospital the doctors were shocked to find 23 plastic toy horses inserted into his rear regions! When asked how he...
The boss showed up at the Christmas party driving a top of the range Ferrari. ‘Wow!’ said one of the junior employees ‘that’s an amazing car.’ ‘Well,’ said the boss, ‘if you work hard, put in all your...
One cup asks another if he wants to see which one can hold most coffee.
The other says, “no, that’s a mug’s game”....
I am so single.....
I am chasing myself around the house playing hard to get!...
My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could...
crossword no. 13
Last weekend, my friend set me up with a blind-date with his sister. Despite his assurance that she was attractive and intelligent – I was concerned that I might find her unattractive and be stuck...
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?" There was no...
Friday: News, "New variant rampant"
Saturday: Boris, "O K, we'll close the stable door next Tuesday"...
Earlier today my wife, mother-in-law and I were all watching TV when one of those cremation adverts came on; at which my mother-in-law announced that she would quite like to be cremated, to which I...
Being pc the CIA no longer use the term “waterboarding”. It is now referred to as “Tactical Baptism”...
The company president called the chief security guard into his office. "Dave, we've received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands...
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."...
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