A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender returned to him, the man...
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor...
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. ”We have 2 basic needs sir,” replied the villager. “Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s no doctor.” On hearing this, politician...
B&Q JOB APPLICATION This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells. They hired him because he was so funny.... NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Barstard...
This good looking man walks into an agent's office in Hollywood and says "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked,...
Norma and Sonia were talking about their grandchildren after the holidays. Norma said, "My daughter-in-law stopped making my grandchildren send their 'thank you' notes. Each year I sent the...
Little Kathy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there,...
I remember last year listening to two blondes on the train. First blonde: "I see Christmas day is on a Friday this year."
Second blonde: "Bloody hell, I hope it's not on the thirteenth then."...
I was browsing in a large high street department store, looking for suitable gifts. A salesman soon spotted me and came to my assistance. "Can I help you, sir"? He asked. "Yes, I'd like to see what...
A man driving his car, was being chased by police, but wouldn't stop for ages. Eventually, police pulled him over and asked why he didn't stop earlier. Man said, "My wife ran off with a police...
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a Cheshire cafe, four elderly farmers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days."...
"I want to divorce my wife." "On what grounds?" "She is out all night, every night, going from bar to bar." "Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?" "No, she's looking for...
Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security...
David Beckham gets into a taxi at Dublin airport. He sees the driver looking at him for about 5 minutes in the rear view mirror. Eventually the driver says "OK, give me a clue." Beckham sighs and...