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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

241 to 260 of 2514

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Rondy

There's More

So I went for a job as a lumberjack..
Fella asks: "Have you any experience?"
I replied: "Have you heard of the Sahara Forest?"
He said: "You mean Sahara Desert!"
I said: "Yeah, well that's what they... ...
09:07 Sat 16th Dec 20233 answers, last by juliecarlstan 02:14 Sat 20th Jan 2024
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Patsy33

Watched Many Times..

Sound of Music on again. Don't know how many times I've watched it. Must be 16 going on 17..
15:44 Mon 08th Jan 20249 answers, last by Canary42 22:38 Mon 08th Jan 2024
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Rondy

There's More

Last night I told my wife I was feeling horny.
"Well, we can soon sort that out", she said with a wink, and slowly undressed.
flip me, she was right...
I stopped feeling horny immediately! ___ I was... ...
12:18 Sun 07th Jan 20241 answer, last by Patsy33 12:42 Sun 07th Jan 2024
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Rondy

Pet Shop

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem... ...
09:20 Sat 06th Jan 20242 answers, last by Old_Geezer 09:31 Sat 06th Jan 2024
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Rondy

Frog

A guy with a 25 inch willy goes to the doctor and said "I can't live with this willy anymore! It's too long!". The doctor replied "go to the swamp and find a female frog and ask her to marry... ...
16:25 Fri 05th Jan 20242 answers, last by Atheist 16:29 Fri 05th Jan 2024
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Rondy

And There's More

My careers officer in school asked me "what job can you see yourself doing?"
I said "mirror inspector" ___ A vicar visits a dentist for a new set of teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new... ...
15:23 Thu 04th Jan 20241 answer, last by Patsy33 08:17 Fri 05th Jan 2024
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Rondy

The Traveller

Sean, who was a commercial traveller many years ago, became lost on a strange road on a wild, cold, stormy night. His car broke down. He thought he was in for a terrible night staying in the car... ...
10:59 Mon 01st Jan 20242 answers, last by Patsy33 15:06 Tue 02nd Jan 2024
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Rondy

A Few More

Not wanting to brag but, I have enough money saved, so I don't have to work for the rest of the year. ___ The other day, Robyn and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have... ...
11:41 Sun 31st Dec 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 11:45 Sun 31st Dec 2023
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Rondy

Paddy And Mick

Paddy and Mick were sitting in back of their trailers, shooting the breeze.  Paddy asked Mick, "If I snuck over to yore house while you wuz out fishin' an' I made love to your wife, an' she got... ...
10:55 Thu 28th Dec 20231 answer, last by Khandro 10:58 Thu 28th Dec 2023
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Smowball

For Wet Wet Wet Fans………

WET WET WET lead singer Marti Pellow was recently diagnosed with arthritis. When asked how it was affecting him he said... " I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes...." 😁
16:36 Sat 23rd Dec 20234 answers, last by jno 16:57 Sat 23rd Dec 2023
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Hopkirk

For Sale

I think I might sell my theremin. I haven't touched it for years.
12:06 Sat 23rd Dec 20232 answers, last by Ken4155 13:58 Sat 23rd Dec 2023
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-SharonA-

Xmas Present

I'M SO EXCITED... my boyfriend wanted to give me a special Christmas present. So with 1 dart and a world map he said to throw it and where it lands we will go there after the Christmas... ...
16:11 Thu 21st Dec 20234 answers, last by Chipchopper 12:05 Fri 22nd Dec 2023
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maggiebee

Addiction

I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts. I won't lie, it was a Rocky Road
13:15 Wed 20th Dec 20231 answer, last by Chipchopper 23:33 Wed 20th Dec 2023
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Rondy

There's More

Sally: Hmmm... there was something else I had to buy, and I can’t think of it.
Mary: Was it tuna fish... or cereal… or sugar… or coffee?
Sally: No, none of those things. Especially not coffee! I... ...
14:36 Wed 20th Dec 20231 answer, last by fripfrip 21:59 Wed 20th Dec 2023
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Canary42

Christmas List

Dear Santa, for Christmas I would like a fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't get them the wrong way round like last year.  
14:00 Wed 20th Dec 20231 answer, last by dustypuss 14:12 Wed 20th Dec 2023
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Rondy

And There's More

A bloke said to me today 'Are those thick lens glasses you're wearing?'
I said 'No, they're mine' ___ The inventor of the ballet skirt was struggling for a name for his invention.
Finally he put tu... ...
13:56 Tue 19th Dec 20232 answers, last by Rondy 13:27 Wed 20th Dec 2023
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rccatnap

Christmas Tree?

I went to buy a large Christmas tree and the sales person said, "Are you going to put it up yourself?" I said, "No, I was thinking the living room."
22:32 Mon 18th Dec 20231 answer, last by ladybirder 22:48 Mon 18th Dec 2023
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Rondy

A Few More

I asked my boss what browser he uses...
He said "Chrome"
I said "So why do people in the team say you're always on edge?" ___ I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me. ___ Took... ...
09:21 Mon 18th Dec 20232 answers, last by retrocop 09:42 Mon 18th Dec 2023
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Canary42

Laundry Time

Husband (who is about to wash a bundle of his shirts in the washing machine): What shall I set the temperature to ?   Wife: What does it say on the T-shirt?   Husband: Pink Floyd
16:59 Sun 17th Dec 20231 answer, last by bookbinder 17:03 Sun 17th Dec 2023
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Canary42

Grandma

My mate said "we'll all miss grandma this Christmas, but we know she'll be looking down on us "

I replied "oh dear, when did she die?"

He replied "she's not dead, we're still waiting for the Stannah... ...
22:43 Thu 14th Dec 20233 answers, last by Ellipsis 11:31 Fri 15th Dec 2023

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