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Jokes

Looking for a laugh? There are plenty of funny jokes being told on The AnswerBank, so sit back, relax and have a read.

441 to 460 of 2514

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Rondy
A frantic blonde woman calls out a May day. "Mt pilot has had a heart attack and is dead. I don't know how to fly this thing."
She hears a voice on the radio saying: "This is air traffic control, I... ...
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maggiebee
LETS LAUGH AWAY OUR STRESS WITH ANTS 1. 5 ants + 5 ants = Tenants 2. To bring an ant from another country into your country = Important 3. Ant that goes to school = Brilliant 4. Ant that is looking... ...
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Patsy33
Trying to think of a tree pun, but I'm stumped..
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Rondy
There was a bit of confusion in the off-licence last night. When I was ready to pay for my whisky, the young lady check-out assistant said to me, 'Strip down facing me.' I did just as she had... ...
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1ozzy
..to include lots of fibre in your diet. https://ibb.co/FYXd9cv...
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Rondy
Did you know that it's now been proven that pets that chew your furniture have a suite tooth!
___

At Ornithology Club we always have someone do a ‘show & tell’ of their pet birds.
Next week it’s my... ...
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Rondy
A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used... ...
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1ozzy
Giraffes shouldn't paint portraits. https://ibb.co/5xHgjwV  
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1ozzy
..clowns shouldn't breed. https://ibb.co/jRxZWJN...
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Canary42
Did you hear about the vegan transgender? He was a herbefore.
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Rondy
James Bond movies were always popular at the cinema. Every time I went to see one there was a Q. ___ A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water... I Schwepped her off her...
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Patsy33
I've been experimenting with breeding racing deer People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck....
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Rondy
Police have raided a factory producing thousands of counterfeit Kipling products. A Police spokesman said " They're exceedingly good fakes" ___ Apparently somebody telephoned B&Q and said they wanted...
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Rondy
A mother of a naughty triplet children in a ticket line on Airport counter was unable to control and keep them together close to her. Finally, it was her turn to check in at ticket counter. The Clerk...
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Rondy
I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said, "Do you mind if I put some music on?" I said, "Not at all." He said, "Kiss?" I said, "Let's listen to the music first, then see how we feel after,"...
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1ozzy
You may not enjoy yoga. https://ibb.co/pnHqt8D...
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maggiebee
"Dad, who built the Suez Canal?" "I don't know son." "Dad. who discovered penicillin?" "I've no idea son." "Dad. what's the capital of Italy?" "I haven't a clue son." "Dad, you don't mind me asking...
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William51
Why was the mushroom always happy ?. Because he was a fungi....
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1ozzy
..Not to teach a dog to write. https://ibb.co/8cZ6N2Y...
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Rondy
Well it's so hot, I opened all the windows. In came 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 Daddy Longlegs, 50 moths, 4 dragons and 12 Jehova's witnesses.

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