Quizzes & Puzzles171 mins ago
The village vicar loved nothing better than to go tearing down the steep hill into town. His ambition was to get a green light and go straight through the crossroads without stopping and therefore...
I got a job at a chess piece factory.
I was really happy there until they put me on knights....
"That new fish that you put in your pond last week, it doesn't seem to have moved in days, is it okay?"
Neighbour: "Sure it is, it's just a de koi"...
I met up with my mate down at the river, but he was on the opposite bank. All was going well until I realised that I forgot to pack some milk for my coffee. I called my mate and said, "chuck that...
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
So I ask the waiter 'Have you got a game pie? He said "Yes we have..its fought its way out the oven twice." ___ I ran into the doctors today, "Doctor, Help! I'm shrinking!" The doctor replied, "I'm...
What’s the funniest ending of the above sentence please?...
Ele tri Typewriter for sale.
Perfe t working ondition.
onta t Ni k on 0 59 2584 1
£10 o ofrs
heers......
My son has started an apprenticeship chef role at a Michelin starred Indian restaurant in London. On his first day they showed him how to make the perfect Indian flat bread. He said he can't tell me...
A large football stadium was booked for an International Blondes Convention. On the day, 30,000 blondes, from all over the world, were in the stadium. The Master of Ceremonies opened the proceedings!...
The fact that there's a highway to hell, and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic levels.
I went to my doctor and said doctor I can't stop saying the same things over and over again. He's given me a repeat prescription... ___ It's easy to get addicted to helter-skelters. It's a downward...
My teacher said, “Name two pronouns.”
I answered, “Who, me?”...
Lone ranger and tonto are riding across the prairie when up on the ridge to their right 2,000 sioux appear they look be hind them and relaize they've been followed by a 1,000 apache...then over to...
Two guys are sitting in a bar and one turns to the other and says ' you look shattered'. His mate replied ' its my girlfriend - she wants sex constantly - four/five/six times a day and wakes me up at...
I was reading a book about fish . I only put it down for a minute. Now I've lost my plaice !.
Scientists and environmentalists are worried about the spread of invasive weeds growing in the Caribbean islands.
One of the worst affected areas is known locally as "the Cuban thistle crisis"...
Would you wear spectacles made of oak?
Eye wood....
I got arrested for stealing a complete set of encyclopedias. I said to the police, "Hang on, I can explain everything!" ___ In mediaeval times, horses that died in battle were taken to the...
A chef I know just boiled up a chicken carcass with seasoning, vegetables and nitrous oxide.
I told him he's made himself a laughing stock....
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