Crosswords0 min ago
Manchester tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement please turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "Tower control, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard...
jesus walks into a bar with the apostles Bartender: Table for 13? Jesus: No, 26 Jesus walks into a restaurant... "Table for 26 please" Confused, the Waiter does a quick head count, and says "But there...
My girlfriend treats me like a god… she ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something....
I said to a friend "What stops those ice houses, they build from caving in ?"
He told me : "igloos them together"...
Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that is draped in bacon. "A bacon tree! We're saved!" he says He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets. It wasn't a bacon tree, it was...
I recently spent £5,500 on this registered Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but all he did all day long was just to eat grass and wouldn't even look at the cows. I was beginning to think that I...
Not sure if you have noticed, but I love bad puns.
That’s just how eye roll....
I was thinking back to when I was a kid, and all the questions I used to ask my dad, he would do his best to answer them. I remember on a fishing trip, he took me on one early morning, just as the sun...
WARNING: Not for sensitive folk.
Nicked from Instagram.
https:/ /ibb.co /30k39t v...
I shouted into a colander yesterday.
It strained my voice....
The Fasting and Prayer Conference ..... meals included. The sermon this morning is: Jesus walks on the water. The sermon tonight will be "Searching for Jesus". Ladies - don't forget the rummage sale -...
Radio quiz answers: BBC NORFOLK Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? Contestant: I don't know. White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your...
I went to a seance last night. I do not know what possessed me !. - The salesman was pushy even after i repeated No, so i said Non, Net, Nein. But he still would not take no foreign answer !...
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him....
last week I bought a pair of boots from a drug dealer
not sure what they are laced with but I can't stop trippin...
it took a while, but I'm clean now..
https:/ /ibb.co /nP1GFH Z...
"Darling, I just called to tell you how awesome you are. You really are the love of my life…"
"Sir, I’m sorry, but this is a brewery!"
"Oh, I know that."...
Got a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale stuck on my foot. Its an ingrowing toon ale. ___ I read that taking your bike to work is good for the environment. So I thought why not? I'm not using the roof rack...
I had a happy childhood.
My dad used to put me in tyres and roll me down hills.
Those were good years....