The One Time I Hope Boris Is Telling The...
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Q) What day of the week do dogs look forward to most of all ?
A) chewsday...
Sweet dreams are made of cheese
... who am I to dis a brie....
Opened my posting " you can't beat the oldies " on the jokes category. I liked Max Bygraves...
Recently thieves struck at my local British Legion club. club and they stole the new L.c.d television from the lounge.
I blame the committee for this because they put it where everyone could see it....
A duck says "Got any bread?" Reply, "No." The duck says "Got any bread?" Reply, "No." The duck says "Got any bread?" Reply,"No. And if you ask me again I'll nail your beak to the floor." The duck...
I've just started writing a book on hurricanes.
It's only a draft at the moment....
I had to quit my job working for the post office, the moment they handed me my first letter to be posted.
I looked at it and I soon realised "this is not for me"....
,,thought she could look at least like it was enjoyable..
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My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables.
jack and the beans talk....
I've resigned as secretary of our local Origami Society.
Too Much paperwork....
..to think first..
https:/
saw this sign out side a hospital pregnesy protection entrance at rear
Doctor: You are severely overweight.
Patient: I want a second opinion.
Doctor: You're also ugly...
Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the...
I heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.
It was a case of mass egg-stink-tion...
Thoughts for the day: Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right...
Do women ever sit back and think "My husband sure does know a lot, maybe I should just be quiet and listen to him."...
My girlfriend borrowed £100 from me when we started going out.
We've just split up, and she gave me the £100 back.
I've lost interest in that relationship....
My girlfriend has been working as a magician's assistant for a number of years and has picked up a few tricks. I came home early from work the other day to find her dressed in her magician's assistant...
My wife is in a right mood. Someone has stolen a pair of her pants off the washing line. She's not bothered about the knickers, she just wants her twelve pegs back............
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