Quizzes & Puzzles4 mins ago
The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried...
I wandered down the cheese aisle of my local supermarket in a dream-like state, and accidentally put my favourite Mexican cheese in someone else's shopping trolley. I was rudely brought to my senses...
Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without M&S.
It would be Chrita....
Two beefy men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were...
My best mate Steve passed away yesterday so I went to see his wife today. I said, "Look on the bright side, at least he's not suffering anymore." She said, "He wasn't ill, he died all of a sudden." I...
I was walking past the police station yesterday when I saw a poster on the noticeboard saying "man wanted for robbery" So I decided to go in and apply for it....
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.
He slides up to the bar and announces:
'I'm looking for the man who shot ma paw.'...
Apparently I have trouble verbalising my emotions.
Can't say I'm surprised....
I once bought a wooden car, with a wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden wheels, and wooden seats.
I then put the wooden key in the wooden ignition.
Doh!! The damn thing wooden start....
"What's for dinner tonight?"
She says, "Nothing."
He says, "We had nothing last night."
She says, "Yes. I made enough for two nights."...
A budgie escapes from its cage and humped the family dog.
The owner says, "I've got puppies going cheap if anyone wants one."...
My wife is going to a fancy dress party as a Rastafarian.
She's asked me to do her hair.
I'm dreading it....
Mrs Biden bought Joe a parrot for his birthday. She told Kamala Harris, the deputy president "The bird is so smart, Joe has already taught him to pronounce over 200 words." "Wow. That's pretty...
This is a reminder to all clinical staff when undertaking a capacity assessment.
DO NOT ask who the Prime Minister is....
I asked 100 women what shampoo they would prefer to use while taking a shower.
They all replied "how did you get in here?"...
Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.” Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?” ___________ Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.” Caddy: “Try...
A 4-year old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Daddy, why is my apple turning brown?" "Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the...
My mate David was a victim of ID theft.
Now we just call him Dav....
After dropping my new girlfriend home the other night after our first date, she told me I'd have to wait 3 months before she would have sex with me. I told her I totally understood and respected her...
You can wander around Walmart and eat grapes and nobody bothers you but as soon as you eat a rotisserie chicken, here comes security.............
