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A woman goes to see her doctor. "Doctor", she says, "I've got a terrible problem. I can't stop farting. However, they aren't too bad, since they don't make a noise, nor do they smell. In fact, I've...
I've just come back from a once in a lifetime holiday.
Never again....
I went to Blackpool on my holidays once, I went on a donkey.
It took me 25 days to get there....
Two bulls in a field, and one says to the other, "Hey have you seen the new heifer in the next field, she looks like a real sweet girl?"
Other bull: "No I've never seen herbivore"...
Today I went to a meeting of my premature ejaculators support group, but it turns out it's tomorrow.
Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and keptthe same tag-line... Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better Tesco Condoms - every little helps Nike Condoms - Just do it....
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school ?
He was okay, someone threw a bucket of water over him, and woke him up....
Is it OK that I start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or does that make me a bad teacher?
The sport of choice for ... 1. ...Urban poor is Basketball 2. ...Maintenance level workers is 10-pin Bowling 3. ...Front line workers is Football 4. ...Supervisors is Bowls 5. ...Management is Tennis...
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"I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee"
"Relax, you are two tents"...
Living in Buckinghamshire is never having to say you are Surrey.
Taking his seat on a flight, a businessman is bemused to see a parrot in the next seat. The plane takes off and the man asks the stewardess for a coffee. As he does, the parrot screeches, 'Yeah, and...
a man runs home from work and gets his wife to go to the bedroom with him .He excitedly throws her on the bed and pulls the duvet over them .She's shocked as he hasn't been this enthusistic for 20...
Did you know that God asked Noah to build a second ark? Shortly after finishing the first one God said to Noah, "I’d like you to build me another one. This time I want it to have lots of different...
There's a Labrador by my front door shouting 'Buy!' and 'Sell!' into a mobile phone...
I'm sick of dogs doing their business outside my house....
I have the same problem with a German Shepherd shyting outside my door , sometimes he brings his dog with him
So, this Thursday we're going to clap for the energy companies instead of paying them......
The tories thought that was OK for the nurses....
I've started a dating app for farmyard animals, but to be honest I'm struggling to make hens meet.
on Monday, before being rounded up and sent back to England.
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