Home & Garden1 min ago
I was listening to a friend describing a grizzly who had identical twin cubs.
I thought 'that bears repeating'....
RIP for the former jockey.
His funeral is next Wednesday at 20/1....
Anyone who says that onions are the only vegetable to make you cry has obviously never been hit in the face with a turnip. ____________ It has been 4 years since my job interview… I'm beginning to...
Doctor, Doctor. Have you got anything for my liver?. Yes, here is a bag of onions. - Doctor, Doctor. Have you got anything for a bad headache?. Yes, here is a hammer, hit yourself on the head and get...
An Irish lady goes into a bar and raises her arm to gain attention, displaying a very hairy armpit. "Who's going to buy me a drink?" she demands. Everyone looks away and ignores her except one drunken...
I was banned from telling my joke about 288 because it was just two gross
My mate has broken the world record for getting the largest number of pigeons to land on him.
The guy's a ledge....
Have you tried Korean dumplings?
They really are the dogs boiiocks....
The day we went metric i went to the fruit shop and asked can i have 2 Lbs of bananas please and was told it's Kilos now sir and i said OK give me 2 Lbs of Kilos then...
A chap jumps in a taxi says, “King Arthur’s Close”.
The taxi driver says, “Don’t worry I’ll lose him at the lights”…...
A man who has trained his dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground said that he went from Barking to Tooting in just over an hour.
Last week I was working at a client’s premises where they had limited parking spaces for staff and visitors. On Thursday they had a group of VIPs visiting, and instructed all staff and other visitors...
I noticed the librarian was clearly suffering from sunburn, you'd think he would know better.
He was well red...
I once worked for a lift company.
The job had its ups and downs....
Scotland plays Ukraine next week in a World Cup playoff match. Virtually the whole of Europe will be without a doubt supporting the country that has suffered so much torment and heartache at the hands...
My food delivery arrived just now.
The delivery man said the milk product I asked for wasn't there.
I said , "That's whey out of order!".....
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A little Native American boy asked his father, the big chief of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?" His...
A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been Withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of Inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger...
My wife told me to get some therapy to deal with my obsession with Neil Diamond.
I'M, I said!...
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