Yvette Cooper Wilfully Dodges The Point
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A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males...
I have decided to quit my job as a personal trainer, because the weights are too heavy.
I'm going to hand in my too weak notice....
I worked as a tailor for a few months.
I wasn't really suited to it, and the work was so so....
What’s the difference between hedgehogs & Range rovers?
With hedgehogs the pr*cks are on the outside! :)...
One day God called down to Noah and said, "Noah me old china, I wants you to make me a new Ark." Noah replied, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want. After all, you're the boss.". But...
Mum and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mum said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."...
Doctor, Doctor. There is a patient on line 1 who says he is invisible. Tell him i cannot see him right now. - Doctor, Doctor. I get heartburn when i eat cake. Then next time take the candle out....
Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work. 1. Picture yourself...
A man comes home from working at a pickle factory and he seems troubled. His wife asks him what's wrong and the man says, "Oh, nothing. I just... well... recently I've had an uncontrollable urge to...
I hired a handyman and gave him a list of jobs to do.
When I checked later he had done numbers 1, 3, 5 and 7.
It turns out he only does odd jobs....
Ollie was sitting in class one day when the teacher asked the class: "Who destroyed Hadrian's Wall?" Ollie instantly replied :"It wasn't me miss!" Teacher said: "Stay behind after class you cheeky...
No wonder Ollie and his Dad didn't know - no one person destroyed it.
According to Wiki, Hadrian's Wall fell into ruin and over the centuries the stone was reused in other local buildings....
I took a test last week to see if I could become an insect inspector.
I think I will get the job, as I boxed all the right ticks....
Joe, the Matchmaker, goes to meet Mr. Ford, who has been a bachelor for many years. Joe says to Mr. Ford, "I suggest you do not delay it any further. I have someone in mind who is just perfect for...
A Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife "Ya know sumptin', womon, we have a wonderful new system at de Fire Station... Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings, we...
I work as a lifeguard.
It's my job to actively fight natural selection....
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Frank Feldman....
The madam opened the brothel door in Miami and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked. The man replied, “I want to...
I've been trying to break up with an optician recently. It's really hard.
Every time I say I can't see her any more she moves an inch closer and says "how about now?"...
A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their 10th wedding anniversary when the wife says, 'Darling, as this is such a special occasion I think that it is time I made a confession.........
