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Fred and Mary got married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they went back to Fred's Mum and Dad's for their first night of wedded bliss together. In the morning, Johnny (Fred's little brother) gets...
I tried to start a professional hide and seek team, but it didn't work out.
Turns out, good players are hard to find....
Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows. 'Twenty quid ' she whispers. He'd never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the heck, its only twenty quid. So they...
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, 'What do they do here?' He told, 'First they put you in an electric...
The guy who invented the knock-knock jokes has been awarded the nobell prise
How to Write Big Books by Warren Peace The Lion Attacked by Claude Yarmoff The Art of Archery by Beau N. Arrow Songs for Children by Barbara Blacksheep Irish Heart Surgery by Angie O'Plasty Desert...
Have you heard of that new band 1023MB?
They're good but they haven't got a gig yet....
Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses £500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen pal, the other five complete their playing time...
Two young lads fighting in the school yard and the teacher stopped them saying, "Right Johnny, What are you fighting about?" Johnny said "Please miss, he shoved a cracker up my dog's ***." "Johnny."...
A Vicar came across a young laddie searching around the pavement crying. "What's the matter asked the vicar" "I've lost my little Green Ball, said the lad." "Don't worry," said the vicar, "I'll help...
At their divorce hearing and her recent rant on Gmtv a psychologist stated that Heather Mills was clearly unbalanced. Sir Paul rang in and said that a couple of beermats under her left leg usually did...
Every day a man drops 50p into a beggers hat on his way to work. Suddenly he changes this to 20p and some time later reduces it further to 10p. The beggar asks why this is and he man explains that his...
Paddy buys a bath, but takes it back the next day complaining the water keeps running out. The manager asks "Did you buy a plug?" Paddy replies, "You didn't say it was electric!"...
For his 80th birthday, the old boy's mates clubbed together to get him a prostitute.
She asked them "does he want sex or super sex?"
The old boy pipes up "I'll have soup please"...
The judge said to the blonde, " Have you ever been up before me?"
She said, " I don't know, what time do you get up?"...
My wife was reading a magazine she said to me "It says here that 50% of men sing in the shower and the other 50% masturbate and do you know what song they sing?" "No I don't." I said "I didn't think...
The clockwise section of the M25 motorway came to a standstill earlier this morning, when a lorry shed its load of brightly coloured envelopes, post-it notes and writing paper. A police spokesperson...
A chap goes to the Council for a job. The interviewer asks him - "Have you been in the armed services?" Yes" he says "I was in the Falklands for three years." The interviewer says "That will give you...
Friend sent me this. The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the BT call centre Caller : I'd like the number of the...
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell...
