Music7 mins ago
A couple on holiday with their young son felt the need to have sex, and in order to facilitate this they sent out young Jamie on to the balcony with an Ice cream and asked him to report on what was...
A guy was baptized and dipped in water 3 times........... After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you....
I need to re-home a dog.
It's a small terrier and tends to bark a lot.
If you're interested, let me know and I'll climb over my neighbour's fence and get it for you....
Mate of mine phoned to tell me he had changed his name by deed poll to.....Spinal Column "Can I call you back?" I asked. ___ I said to my wife, “I’ve lost the dictionary.” She said, “Have you looked...
Yesterday my brother accidentally swallowed some weed killer. Fortunately he saw the fungicide. ___ My wife just confessed that she broke my favourite lamp. I don’t think I’ll be able to look at her...
A father and son moved into a new house. One day, the father saw the son was looking oddly pale. “What’s wrong, son?” he asked. “Dad, do you believe in gh0sts?” the son asked. “Of course not,” said...
“Dad, a girl invited me over to her house “: "Oh that is great, Billy. But you should be careful, you are young and an STD or unwanted pregnancy is going to be devastating. Please, remember to wear a...
I particularly liked a cartoon in the current issue of Private Eye, depicting a pest control van arriving at the House of Commons – with the security officer asking, Sex or Rodent?...
The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. “Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.” The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for...
The famous American Statesman, William Penn, had two old aunts named Natalie and Ellie who were great at baking pies. But they got greedy and raised the prices up and up till all the people in...
An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at £500; we'll pay you £1,000 if we fail." A...
A skeleton with a dagger in it's ribs has been found on the bank of the River Thames. Forensic services estimate it being over 300 years old. The Metropolitan police are treating it as murder and are...
Billy Brown decided it was time to buy a new house, so he decided to sell his old house and put the matter in an estate agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made...
I once decided to have a holiday in the USA. I needed to go to their embassy for a visa. Officer: "Where to in America sir?" Me: "San Jose." Officer: "It's pronounced as San Hosey sir. The J is...
Two flies were on the top of a food can. One was running around, " Why are yoy doing that ? the other said, " because it says tear along the dotted line!"....
A preacher at a Christian school, wanted to point out the proper behavior for church. He was trying to elicit from the youngsters, rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice...
The Husband was a bit embarrassed and told the Doctor he had trouble getting an Erection with his Wife and she was getting frustrated. The Doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals, then...
Little Johnny lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and Little Johnny hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on...
Got caught stealing a leg of lamb from Tesco's!
Security said "What are you doing with that?"
I said "spuds, peas and gravy would be nice."...
A guest on holiday in Jamaica rings down to the hotel reception. "May I help you?" the clerk asks. "Yes," the man says. "I'm in room 858, you need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an...
Latest Posts
Will Blasphemy Laws Be Reintroduced?
News9 mins ago
Crosswords12 mins ago
Crosswords21 mins ago
News28 mins ago
Can You Be Fined For Emptying A Swimming...
Civil30 mins ago