I was looking for a good loo cleaner, so I asked a lady at the supermarket, "which is the best stuff for cleaning the loo" she said "ammonia cleaner" I said "sorry I thought you worked... ...
A thief in the butcher shop got charged with chop lifting. The Judge said he mutton do it again. ___ My wife is doing an experiment. She's wearing a Man Utd shirt for a week to get peoples reactions.... ...
Reports have come through that Police have stopped and arrested 50 Hull KR fans on the M62 with flares as they were on their way to the Grand Final v Wigan at Old Trafford yesterday. It turned out... ...
Two tapeworms in a high ranking army officer. One says to the other "What's up mate, you look really down?" The other replies "Oh, nothing really, just life in General" ___ We've started going to a... ...
I've Just had a sage and onion enema. It's knocked the stuffing out of me. ___ Cucumbers are really good for memory............ Someone stuck one up my mates *** 30 years ago and he still remembers... ...
They’re a funny lot, my family. Before he died my grandad covered his back with lard, but after that he went downhill very quickly. My sister had hay fever and then she developed diabetes. I did my... ...
The cheeky kids next door challenged me to a water fight, I said,”Give me 5 minutes and I’ll be ready as soon as the kettles boiled.” ___ For a minute I thought the job centre was trying to appeal... ...
Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, Saint Peter tells Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention of the car changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with... ...
My local chef got caught embezzling, he was cooking the books. ___ One day I hope to lose so much weight that I win the Nobelly Prize! ___ So a big group of fawns, moose and elks got together and had... ...