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carrust

Andrex toilet tissue.

Has Andrex bog roll got much thinner of late, or have I bought a bad batch?
13:58 Tue 14th Feb 201237 answers, last by carrust 13:44 Wed 22nd Feb 2012
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carrust

Kitchen sinks.

Can anyone recommend a good quality stainless kitchen sink. Willing to pay up to £150-00 for it.
10:48 Tue 14th Feb 201210 answers, last by williamcutter1 16:57 Thu 05th Jul 2012
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carrust

I've just....

cut off a trouser leg & donated it to the British library....That'll be a turn up for the books......
10:12 Tue 14th Feb 20125 answers, last by LochNessMonster 12:57 Tue 14th Feb 2012
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carrust

Fabio Cappello...

...has resigned as England manager. Not the 1st time an Italian has fled from a sinking ship!
10:01 Thu 09th Feb 20122 answers, last by Groupie 11:47 Thu 09th Feb 2012
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carrust

One armed...

...butlers. They can take it but can't dish it out.....
20:16 Mon 06th Feb 201210 answers, last by T&S 12:53 Tue 07th Feb 2012
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carrust

I've just....

....seen a very sad man at the refuse tip....he was down in the dumps....
20:16 Fri 27th Jan 20121 answer, last by weecalf 21:39 Fri 27th Jan 2012
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carrust

I said....

...to this Scotsman, "did you have spots when you were a teenager? He said, "Ach nee."
19:58 Fri 27th Jan 20125 answers, last by heathfield 10:16 Sat 28th Jan 2012
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carrust

Colonic immigration...

....we've got to flush them out.....
16:31 Fri 27th Jan 20123 answers, last by rozia 22:26 Sat 28th Jan 2012
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carrust

I'm a....

...paranoid dyslexic. Everyone's out to met gee......
16:28 Fri 27th Jan 20123 answers, last by puternut 00:14 Sat 28th Jan 2012
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carrust

So I....

...said to this woman. "You've got a figure like a pepper pot." She said, I'll take that as a condiment."
16:24 Fri 27th Jan 20121 answer, last by marval 16:25 Fri 27th Jan 2012
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carrust

I've just....

...heard that there's a new book out called What Every Woman Wants. I'm just going to the bookshop to see if they've spelt my name correctly......
18:00 Thu 26th Jan 20125 answers, last by carrust 16:03 Fri 27th Jan 2012
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carrust

Goodbye for a while....

You wont be hearing from me on AB for a while. I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables..... So I gotta lilo..........
15:37 Mon 23rd Jan 201217 answers, last by denis567 22:54 Mon 23rd Jan 2012
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carrust

Today....

.....I've repaired a violin, re-strung a cello & polished a double bass....they were all fiddly jobs....
15:11 Mon 23rd Jan 20121 answer, last by JonnyBoy12 20:08 Mon 23rd Jan 2012
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carrust

Saw.....

...a man in a restaurant eating a television......He was having a set lunch....
20:25 Fri 20th Jan 20128 answers, last by SIRandyraven 21:02 Fri 20th Jan 2012
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carrust

TOP TIP:

Recreate your very own version of the Hungry Hippo’s game by going along to a Weight Watchers meeting and emptying a box of Maltesers on the floor.
14:21 Fri 20th Jan 20123 answers, last by maggiebee 18:52 Fri 20th Jan 2012
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carrust

My mate....

...chatted up a cheetah in a nightclub.....he was trying to pull a fast one....
09:44 Tue 17th Jan 20122 answers, last by Old_Geezer 09:49 Tue 17th Jan 2012
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carrust

Yesterday.....

....I went to church & the vicar threw hot ashes on me....I was incensed.....
20:04 Mon 16th Jan 20122 answers, last by funnygirl 20:20 Mon 16th Jan 2012
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carrust

I once....

....had a job in a pets cemetery. Nothing much, I was a dogsbody......
19:58 Mon 16th Jan 20122 answers, last by carrust 20:01 Mon 16th Jan 2012
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carrust

I've just....

....developed a photo of some cereal....It was a bit grainy.....
19:56 Mon 16th Jan 2012
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carrust

60 watt...

Last night The Mrs said to me. "If you turn off the bedside lamp I'll take it up the Aristotle." With hindsight, I should've waited for the bulb to cool down first........
19:53 Mon 16th Jan 20121 answer, last by MichaelZZ 21:32 Mon 16th Jan 2012

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