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carrust

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carrust
It's Bernard Matthews funeral this week. After the service, he's going to be cremated on gas mark 6 for 5 hours!
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carrust
You wont be hearing from me on AB for a while. I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables. So I gotta lilo..........
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carrust
Whilst watching the local news tonight, I noticed when they showed the football highlights, all the matches were using orange balls. When did they stop using white ones?
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carrust
A gentle reminder to all the people who live in Norfolk, Suffolk & Lincs, to turn your clocks back tonight....To 1957.....
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carrust
Elizabeth Fritzl has just tweeted the Chilean miners.....70 days trapped underground... Big effin deal..... I don't get it....
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carrust
Has Margaret Thatcher died.... Every time I put the TV on all I see is miners & Scousers celebrating.......
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carrust
A Catholic saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine. His Asian neighbour saw it and said....... " I can't believe it's not Buddha."...
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carrust
Just been given an Islamic dog.... Got to muzzle 'im...
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carrust
I've just acquired a brand new Christian mobile phone... I've gorrit on pray as you go.............
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carrust
Why does a woman buy a set of hair straighteners, when her hair is straight at a die???? Dumbfounded of S Yorks....
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carrust
Most people say that women are good at multi-tasking. Last night I told the missus to shut the eff up, & sit down...she couldn't do either.......
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carrust
I was walking with a friend down our local high street, when we came upon a pet shop. A sign on the shop front said. Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale. Well, this mate of mine is a bit of an expert...
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carrust
I recently went to an allotment flower & produce show in a mining village in S Yorks. As is usual,they ran a raffle, & I was notified last night that I'd won third prize. They delivered my...
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carrust
http://www.machinemar...tcase-type-generators Anyone on here bought one of these? If so, are they any good?...
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carrust
The dead MI6 agent found in a bag in his London flat has been identified as a sheep farmer from Wales. He is thought to have been stabbed, & put in a hot bath first. Police are treating it as....
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carrust
Just heard that Michael Flatley is off to Pakistan..... To teach them how to riverdance...............
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carrust
Would it be possible to use a pressure cooker to make chutney, to speed-up the cooking process? I made some the other day, & the whole house smells of vinegar:-(...
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carrust
I'm looking to fill some space in my allotment, & I have enough room to plant about 20 asparagus crowns. Has anyone on here planted them in autumn, or is it advisable to wait until spring?
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carrust
Is it possible to run 2 televisions off 1 digital aerial, by using a splitter off the cable?
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carrust
Had some on Sat night...It's the best pint of beer I've had in years!!!!!

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