excelsior-1 Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Doctor's Orders

On a busy Medical/Surgery ward the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient's condition. "This patient is a fellow physician and my favourite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he...

flipnflap

Female Dr Who?

there's now talk in the Media of the next Dr Who being female? What do you think and who do you suggest?

marval

Shopping

I went into my local newsagents and I saw that he had put up a big sign saying, "NO READING IN THIS SHOP" I grabbed 4 bars of chocolate, took them to the counter and said, "Which of these is the Dairy...

Jemisa

Bad Day....

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy , go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very...

excelsior-1

A Lovely Day

it is really quite nice out there, again dare we hope that the summer is finally here?...

Jemisa

Anger...

A policeman stops a driver and asks "Why didn't you slow down and stop at the sign?" The driver says, "Slow down, stop- what's the difference..." The policeman gets very angry and starts hitting the...

cupid04

A Lady Who...

A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated about her husband's lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their relationship and...

Messalina

80's Kids Game Show

Can anyone remember a programme where there was a tiled floor that kids had to get across avoiding pitfalls. I seem to remember an alien controller too. Sorry I'm being a bit vague....

nungate

Mad Over Fifties Club

Come on in! Nungate Towers is open for another meeting of AB's Mad Over Fifties! With Queenie and Best Beloved away in Cardiff it's been a struggle to get things organised for tonight's meeting. As we...

marval

What's Your Ambition?

An army Major visiting some sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush...

giveup

At Last

Grass on the patches I had re-sown is very reluctantly coming up. Its been a long wait.

murraymints

Fao Nungate

Still at mums and about to go out for a meal....May not make MOFC tonight...apologies.....xxx

gness

A Man Organised This.

It had to be a man...Off to see my granddaughter in her stage school performance and had to drive through the one main street in my town. Around the bend we were stopped by barriers across the...

Tilly2

No, I'm A Frayed Knot.

Does anyone know the joke to which the above is the punchline?

josaphine32

Happy Saturday, What Are You Up To Tonight

The sun is still out, a little windy, what are you lot up to tonight?, or what whave you been upto today?

excelsior-1

Last Night

i thought i would try something different at the indian restaurant, so i had a pelican madras it was very tasty - - - - but the bill was enormous!...

Traci66

Ice Cream Float.

What is / was your favourite pop to use for these, when I was a kid they had to be made with cream soda, I bought a bottle of cream soda earlier and that is what reminded me, now which freezer is the...

DJHawkes

Django

well how brilliant was that! Watched the Django DVD last night, absolutely loved it! Tarrentino has never been a favourite of mine but this movie is bang on. The cinematography was outstanding anf...

desktop

Good Evening To All

evening ed

janbee

Good Morning Dawn Patrollers

Good morning all from a surprisingly warm Sussex. It's only 4.18 am and it's already quite sticky and muggy. I've been out to water the garden, feed the birds, feed the foxes, done a load of washing...

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