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excelsior-1

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McMouse

What Starts With F And Ends With K?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the...
10:43 Fri 08th Feb 20136 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:43 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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Jemisa

Can You Help?...

My Mate needs some help I'm reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help! His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection. When he came...
13:16 Fri 08th Feb 20136 answers, last by marval 16:21 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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Jemisa

Car Accident...

A man was walking down the street, when suddenly he was hit by a car.A policeman that attended the scene said to the injured man, " Did you get a look at the driver?" "No. " said the man, "but I can...
13:58 Fri 08th Feb 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:30 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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Jemisa

Rubber Gloves...

My dentist just won "dentist of the year"All he got was a little plaque. Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you"re going to smile when you think of this: A dentist noticed that his next...
14:54 Fri 08th Feb 20136 answers, last by Jemisa 23:40 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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WELSHYORKIE

Good Morning All

Friday - chilly outside and a bit of drizzle but at least the wind has abated. 2nd weekend of the 6 Nations this weekend and i'm looking forward to seeing Sundays clash between Ireland and England in...
05:13 Fri 08th Feb 2013160 answers, last by Baldric 10:11 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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lady-janine

Night Night Everyone.

sleep tight all of you. hope the other insomniacs get some rest and those of you who are suppoed to be working - why are you reading this?
01:35 Fri 08th Feb 20138 answers, last by gness 01:52 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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marval

Barber

A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing. "Officer," he asks, "have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?" "No, I haven't. What's the...
00:26 Fri 08th Feb 20135 answers, last by NBarb 12:24 Thu 19th Dec 2019
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starone

Universal Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll...
00:02 Fri 08th Feb 20137 answers, last by Old_Geezer 09:41 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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murraymints

Dads Home !!

Hooray....brought him home tonight....fingers crossed he'll stay home...next chemotherapy 14th.......birthday on the 12th.....staying here again tonight to get them both settled in....Will sleep...
19:27 Thu 07th Feb 201332 answers, last by gness 01:19 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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Jemisa

Weight Loss...

A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can...
13:14 Thu 07th Feb 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 20:28 Thu 07th Feb 2013
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Jemisa

What...

Q. What do Mopeds and fat ladies have in common? A. They are both a great ride, until someone see's you on it.......
13:21 Thu 07th Feb 20135 answers, last by Jemisa 00:23 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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owdhamer

Not Good News.

Went for a check up at Christies today, to find the tumour had spread, and further chemo needed, but not tiill stronger, eating is a major prob,a big fight is on.
19:27 Thu 07th Feb 201377 answers, last by Ann86 11:39 Sun 10th Feb 2013
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queenofmean

Excel....

.....where did you park the Tardis, need to use it and spare key won at MOFC Thanks Queenie x...
17:26 Thu 07th Feb 201327 answers, last by queenofmean 20:27 Thu 07th Feb 2013
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cottack

Flag Pole

flag pole 2 Irish men are sent to measure the hight of a flag pole.When they get there they discover they don`t have a ladder.A blonde comes along and asks what is wrong.When they explain the blonde...
18:47 Thu 07th Feb 20137 answers, last by aelmpvw 11:12 Fri 08th Feb 2013
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BlueToffee

Thursday In February

Have just enjoyed a sumptuous 4 and a half hour lunch with friends, wonderfully prepared by Mrs BT and all washed down with a bottle of Bergerac (de Conte) white, and 2 bottles of Margeaux. Roll on...
18:03 Thu 07th Feb 201311 answers, last by joggerjayne 21:21 Thu 07th Feb 2013
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fruitsalad

I Could Scream

I have waited in all day for my upgrade mobile phone to be delivered and that rubbish company known as yodel has lost it...conveniently
17:18 Thu 07th Feb 201318 answers, last by fruitsalad 19:27 Thu 07th Feb 2013
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Smowball

Well Thats His Birthday Sorted, Thank God Lol.

Trying to buy a present for a man who is a complete workaholic, and already has every gadget known to mankind is very difficult. So, I have bought tickets for him (and me lol) to go to the top of The...
10:48 Thu 07th Feb 201318 answers, last by Smowball 17:26 Thu 07th Feb 2013
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Vintage_Rose

Hi Im New To Answerbank, How Long Did It Take You Before You Could Change Your Avatar

how long did it take you before you could change your pic (dont know what category to put this in)...
16:43 Thu 07th Feb 20138 answers, last by Vintage_Rose 17:10 Thu 07th Feb 2013
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Vintage_Rose

Does Anyone Here Use Yankee Candles?

whats your favorite sent? im burning the pink sands one at the moment it smells amazing!...
17:01 Thu 07th Feb 20133 answers, last by missmuppet 20:51 Tue 19th Feb 2013
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society

Dickkk

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice fecuking bike you got there. Did Santa bring that...
16:45 Thu 07th Feb 20134 answers, last by Starbuckone 18:53 Thu 07th Feb 2013

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