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LochNessMonster

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marval
Steve was driving his girlfriend to the airport when he passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding a can of beer. His girlfriend saw it and snarled, "Am I supposed to think that if I...
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BlueToffee
Mrs BT has finally been signed off by the oncologist today after breast cancer surgery. Champagne in the fridge for later!
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LochNessMonster
Mrs Nessie told this morning she as breast cancer, however it has not spread. She is getting operated in 2 weeks time. Were have been both terrified the last week awaiting results of tests. So please...
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Hopkirk
When he's out he wants to come in, then when he's in he wants to go out. Does anyone else have this problem?...
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Bazile
A man is lying in bed with his new girlfriend . After having great sex, she spent the next hour just stroking his privates,something she seemed to love to do. Enjoying it, he turned and asked her, -...
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berniecuddles
Andy Murray walked into a library and asked to borrow a couple of books about tennis aces. "sod off" said the librarian "You'll never return them"....
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anotheoldgit
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2412605/Two-year-old-girl-WALKED-private-nursery-way-home-workman-left-door-open.html It was simply amazing how this little 3 year old managed to find her way...
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Jordyboy9
If this has been a topic before i am sorry,hansen is on£40,000 a time for spouting Sugar on match of the day,if this is true its a bloody scandal....
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anotheoldgit
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html...
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maggiebee
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland: 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. 2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP. 3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! 4,STAY OUT OF THE WATER 5 . TRY NOT TO...
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Jeza
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her six year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying " All of you b*stards who...
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Smowball
Havent been on here for ages! Gona have a mooch about for a bit and see what I've missed lol.
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mrs_overall
Yesterday afternoon I was sitting on a bench outdoors minding my own business when a wasp flew up my nose! I jumped to my feet and invented a dance called the "I have a wasp up my nostril dance." This...
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LochNessMonster
Have a feeling this is going to be another Iraq, in with the Americans all guns a blazing. Stay well clear until the UN gets its finger out.
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berniecuddles
Why Cats Are Better Than Men!! A CAT always hits the litterbox. Better chance of training a CAT. No matter what your CAT drags into your house, you don't have to pretend you like it. You never have to...
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Gromit
// “It was the first time I had seen a newborn baby and I felt happy. But suddenly there were footsteps and a security guard came in and told the mother to turn the baby upside down into a bowl of...
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ChillDoubt
Just waking up to the very sad news that Cliff Morgan has passed away. The rugby community worldwide will e saddened at his passing. Famous not only for his playing ability but for delivering...
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berniecuddles
A man staggers into a hospital with concussion, Multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5 iron wrapped tightly around his throat. The doctor asked "What happened to you?" "Well I was playing Golf with...
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berniecuddles
morning all what a lovely day yesterday tidied up the garden and resealed the conservatory roof (had a leak) looks like today is going to be nice as well
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joggerjayne
On t he beach, if you sit in a deck chair, there's a guy ho comes over and charges you two pounds. So he works on the beach. All day. Every day. And he is the whitest white guy I've ever seen. It's...

241 to 260 of 846

First Previous 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 Next Last