A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun. He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost...
A Father and his son are hiking in the grand canyon. The go around some bends, over some hills, and through some nooks. They round the bend and see a native american sitting on a rock. The father...
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic bin bags, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags and once in a while a £20 note flies out of it onto the pavement....
A man walks into a shop and ponders over the confectionery at the counter. He says, "I'll have a Twirl and a Boost, please." The shopkeeper gaily spins round, points and says, "Honey,...
Was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead. People are always telling me to get fit. I get enough exercise just...
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote. "They wouldn't take me out while I...
A police officer pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop sign, "May I see your driver's license and registration please?" "What's the problem, officer?" snapped the...
In a small town, farmers of the community had got together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece. One of the old...
A little girl opens the door to find a priest with a collection tin. "What can I do for you, Father?" "I'm collecting for the orphanage." "Just a moment," says the little...
My husband keeps telling me that I’m too organised. Well he’s not my husband yet but he will be in two years. Skinny Jeans. For guys who took "I got in her pants" the wrong way....
I have just got back from the North Pole. On closer inspection Mum's note says my train set is in the attic. Sky Sports News: Katie Price has admitted she has been training all of her life for the...
"Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?" I asked my boss. "Just pop it in the corner," he said. It took me three hours. I've spent all afternoon getting ready for a house...
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him,...
A new clerk is serving in a supermarket. A customer asked him if she could buy half a grapefruit. Not knowing what to do, he excused himself to ask the manager. "Some nut out there wants to buy...
There will be a meeting of the Board immediately after the service," announced the pastor. After the close of the service, the Church Board gathered at the back of the auditorium for the...
As US tourists in Israel, Morris and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales...
While making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” he says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically...
A man spent a whole year alone on a deserted island. One day, he saw a unique fish that had washed up on the shore and was fighting for its life. The man picked up the fish and released it back into...
Stanley decided to lookup his friend Alf, who was a tight-fisted Yorkshireman. He found Alf at his bungalow in Huddersfield stripping the wallpaper from the dining room. Rather obviously, he remarked,...
