In a department store, a difficult customer and a very patient clerk were having a hard time getting together. Nothing the clerk provided was suitable. Finally, the finicky shopper said in annoyance,...
Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to...
Dear Hiring Manager Thank you for your letter of March 1st. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position in your department. This...
There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn't speak...
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while...
A few moments after the daughter announces her engagement. Her Father asked, "Does this fellow have any money?" The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy! You men are all alike....
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both...
Five mornings a week, a man goes to the health club, gets on the stair-stepper, sets the timer, and buries his nose in a book. Recently, he noticed an amazingly fit middle-aged woman who seemed to run...
Tom had won a toy racing car in a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one them should have it as a present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked, "Who never talks back to...
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, a student nurse found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. He...
A wife goes to the local market to buy some organic vegetables for her husband. She comes back rather upset. When her husband asked her what was wrong, she said, "I don't think I like that stall...
A six-year-old boy called his mother from his friend Charlie's house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room. "But, Mum," he said, brightening,...
A mother told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. 'You understand it now?' her mother asks. 'Yes,' replies her daughter. 'Do you still have any...
I met someone in the elevator who was drinking coffee, and complaining about how coffee made him nervous. I said "why don't you quit drinking coffee?" he said "because if I didn't have...
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five...
The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night. 'Well, we're a little crowded, since there's already someone in the spare room,'...
A woman’s phone rings and she answers it. "Hello?" Hearing only heavy breathing on the line, the woman repeated, "Hello?" "I'll bet you want me to come into your...
There is a story about a Monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the Monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by...
Not too far in the future Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut." Customer: "Yes, hello, may I please order.." Operator : "I must have your multipurpose card number...
After much research and millions of pounds, our scientists have
discovered the secret ingredients to Viagra.
3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat...
