A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a £20 note in...
A guy gets hit by a car and goes to hell. When he gets there, the Devil is standing in front of 3 doors. The Devil says, "It's your lucky day. I'm gonna give you a chance to get out of hell. You...
Murphy applied for a job at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. An Australian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test by the...
A couple’s happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always...
A young man finally got a job at the Post Office. He was full of energy and eager to please. The supervisor agreed to work with the new employee, even though he had been warned that he was still...
A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence. After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it. The knocks got louder and...
“I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife,” the young man said, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, “but I don't know her size.” “Will this help?” she asked sweetly,...
George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt...
One night a man and his date were about to go into his apartment after a night on the town. Before he could open his door, his date put her hand on his arm, and said, "Wait a minute. Did you know...
"I can't believe that you and Claire are splitting up," said John to his friend Pete. "I've always thought of you as the perfect couple, that you'd be together forever. Surely you can...
Gene a young American Immigrant after hard work and savings buys a bright glittering pair of Italian shoes and goes to a dance with his new found friend Rita in the local hall. He dances with Rita,...
A man walks into a bar and asks the barman, 'Was I in here last night?' 'You certainly were,' replies the barman. 'And did I spend a lot of money?' 'You spent over £50, replies the barman....
I installed a skylight in my apartment yesterday The people who live above me are furious I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. I was in the...
A straight-laced man is sitting at the bar, buying rounds of whiskey and obviously having a good time. His good friend is walking past the bar and sees him in the window, and comes inside....
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunken guy to jail. The next day the man went before the judge. The judge...
Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before. The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed,...
There was a businessman, and he was feeling really ill, and he went to see the Doctor about it. The doctor says to him, "Well, it must be your diet, what sort of greens do you eat?" The man...
I was walking down the street with my husband earlier when he accused me of being ashamed to be seen with him.
"That's total rubbish" I replied.
By text, from across the road....
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me." "My mother!" he exclaimed. "But...
When her late husband's will was read, a widow learnt he had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman. Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her spouse's tombstone. "Sorry,...