An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman went into a restaurant which advertised that they would pay £1,000 if you ordered a dish they could not serve. 'I'll have yak's eye soup,' said The...
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were hungry one night and had money only for a small pie. Since it was too small to divide they decided to go to sleep and the pie would go to the person who...
Mr. Wilkins, an elderly gentleman was reading his recovery-room record at the hospital where he was admitted. When the doctor arrived for the routine check-up, Mr Wilkins seemed to be quite concerned...
I am listing below a host of reasons to thank to all the super-markets like Asda and Sainburys, for having 10 to 15 checkout aisles and only four open at any given point of time. Waiting in long...
At ten o'clock in the morning, the phone rings in the office of Doctor Floss, the dentist. "Hello!" says Doctor Floss. "Hello!" says Wu, the Chinaman. '"What time you fixee...
Abraham Grossman, the rich young bachelor, is entertaining a gorgeous woman, Gloria, with dinner in his penthouse. As his Chinese servant pours the coffee, Gloria asks, "Wu, how do you make such...
Two secretaries were talking about their work. "I hate filing," said one. "No matter how careful I am, I can never find the papers I'm looking for. I forget where I have filed...
At the final dinner of an international conference, an American delegate turned to the Chinese delegate sitting next to him, pointed to the soup and asked somewhat condescendingly, "Likee...
A man was walking through Chinatown when he noticed a sign reading: "Hans Schmidt's Chinese Laundry." Being of a curious nature, he entered and was greeted by an old Oriental man who...
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no...
A little girl and her dog are walking through the forest when they suddenly fall into a pit. They scramble and scramble but can`t make their way out. The little girl yells, the dog barks, but no one...
During a checkup, a doctor asked a man about his physical activity level. He described a typical day this way. "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7km through some pretty...
A matchmaker was talking to a young but poor man, "There is a beautiful elderly lady who is widowed who owns a fortune and is looking for a young man to marry. She is gentle and also has a twenty...
A prisoner’s wife goes to the jail and says to the warden. “Sir, please offer my husband an easier job in jail, he didn’t kill anybody.” The warden says “He’s only...
An old man went to the college that he attended when he was a youth. He knocked on room number three of the hostel and said. "May I come in. I lived in this very room fifty years ago when I...
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge. I have not yet begun to procrastinate. Follow your dreams, but not the one in which you’re naked in the supermarket squeezing the...
Nicholas and Brenda had been married a long time. They had a luxurious fishing boat which they often used together, but it was Nicholas who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. He was...
A blonde walks into a drug store to buy some condoms. She walks up to the pharmacist and asks "How much for a box of condoms?" "They're $1 for a box of 3," he replied, "Plus 6...
A bloke sitting in his armchair shouts to his wife “When I die I’m going to leave everything to you my love.” She shouts back, “You already do you lazy pig.” My friend...
