marval Member Profile in The AnswerBank

marval

Intelligent Maid

The maid answers the front door. Maid: What do you want, sir? Visitor: I want to see your master. Maid: What is your business, please? Visitor: There is a bill Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for work...

marval

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the...

marval

Funny or not

A young man went to a carpenter and asked, "Can you build me a box that is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long?" "Hmm..." mused the carpenter. "It could be...

marval

How to get good service

My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we realized we didn't have batteries. My husband stepped over to a counter to get the...

marval

Figures of speech

A fifth grade teacher was questioning her student’s use of the word "like." She explained that, contrary to their common use of it, "like" was not an adjective but a...

marval

Lack of communication

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the husband crawled under the sheet...

marval

The Aussie Version of Creation

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and BBQ's. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and BBQ's, and God saw that it was good. On...

marval

Stay

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she...

marval

Dirty Laundry

A young couple moved into a new neighbourhood. The next morning while they were eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbour hanging the washing outside. "That laundry is not very...

marval

Oops

My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day; I haven't stopped." "Can you do me a...

marval

Cameron

Prime Minister Cameron walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me"? Cashier: "It would be my...

marval

Breastfeed

A man was riding on a bus, minding his own business, When this gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on, and eat it all up or...

marval

Naughty

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the...

marval

Adjourned

A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name...

marval

I Tripped

While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?" "No, I'm fine," I said,...

marval

Thanks

John Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the...

marval

The plumbers joke

Why couldn't the plumber get a date? Because he was a real drip! Why did the plumber retire early? He was flushed with success! Why did the plumber start dancing? He knew a little tap! Why did the...

marval

Shooting

Last Thursday night, an elderly woman from Houston, Texas was arrested, jailed, and charged with manslaughter for shooting a man 6 times in the back as he was running away with her purse. The...

marval

Quick Answer

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his...

marval

Once

A sale representative stops at a small manufacturing plant. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift. "No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once,...

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Best Answers

Intelligent Maid

Why Don't You

Funny or not

How to get good service

Figures of speech

Lack of communication

The Aussie Version of Creation

Stay

Dirty Laundry

Oops

Cameron

Breastfeed

Naughty

Adjourned

I Tripped

Thanks

The plumbers joke

Shooting

Quick Answer

Once

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