They made an engaging looking couple in the posh restaurant: The man was handsome, greying and obviously well off; the woman was a joy to any eye - very young, ravishing and delectable. As they each...
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next...
When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran? I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. All reports are in. Life is now officially...
An American, a Japanese and a Chinese man went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into...
Doctor: "Take the green pill with a glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another glass of...
If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones are too...
John saw his old friend Tom, a seventy five-year-old planter, in town. Tom had lost his wife some years before and rumour had it that he was marrying his young maid. Being a good friend, John asked...
"Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said the interviewer. "Can you tell me what gross aggrandized annuity means?" "Certainly," replied the applicant....
Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement. They're each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks...
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person...
An irate old lady called the newspaper office loudly demanding to know where her Sunday paper was. "Madam," said the newspaper employee, "Today is Saturday. The Sunday edition is not...
Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest...
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. "What are you...
Old Saint Nick, with his big red sack slid down the chimney, and there sat a curvy blonde, wearing a negligee. "Santa," she breathed, "won't you stay a while?" "I...
This couple had lived together in the old village for over sixty years. To celebrate their fiftieth anniversary, he took her to a large city and they checked into a plush hotel. She said to the...
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside....
Here's a quick test for you to take. This just proves that we have become way too dependent on our computers. Q: How Many Legs do You Have? To find out the answer, look down... . .. . . . . . .. . . ....
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, this isn't what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry...
A guy walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment. "Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty blonde receptionist asked. "I'll need the information for the...
Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" When...
