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marval

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marval

Quit

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some photo kit for an upcoming shoot. His wife was standing there at the bench watching...
10:18 Wed 09th Jan 20133 answers, last by Starbuckone 17:24 Wed 09th Jan 2013
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marval

Transport

I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, "Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side." It made me cross A lorry has just overturned on the M6 loaded with Vicks vapour rub....
21:53 Tue 08th Jan 201310 answers, last by mamyalynne 01:24 Wed 09th Jan 2013
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marval

Sad

The England football squad visited an orphanage in Poland earlier today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Igor aged six!...
14:12 Tue 08th Jan 20134 answers, last by TheHangman 15:16 Tue 08th Jan 2013
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marval

Can You Tell I Am Bored? Pt 2

Ever played the Eskimo lottery? You have to be Inuit to win it. My dog has just learnt the basics of a rollover. He's one step closer to presenting the National Lottery. My mate won a fortune on the...
23:07 Mon 07th Jan 20132 answers, last by trtytytsrefd 01:47 Tue 08th Jan 2013
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marval

Can You Tell I Am Bored?

I took my car for a service last week... Waste of time though, couldn't quite fit it through the church doors. I went out thieving with a couple of vampires the other day. They put me up on their...
20:51 Mon 07th Jan 20135 answers, last by Starbuckone 23:28 Mon 07th Jan 2013
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marval

Shopping

I was walking in the Tesco entrance earlier to get my weekly shopping, when I read their motto, 'Why Pay More?' "Good point," I thought... "Asda it is then." I'm fed up with shops that give false...
18:57 Sun 06th Jan 20138 answers, last by guilliebrougues 16:07 Wed 09th Jan 2013
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marval

Neighbours

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. When I moved into my new house one of my neighbours came round and...
14:10 Sun 06th Jan 20134 answers, last by bookbinder 14:42 Sun 06th Jan 2013
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marval

Bear With Me

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he...
20:07 Sat 05th Jan 20132 answers, last by marval 21:13 Sat 05th Jan 2013
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marval

Oops

A patient was suffering from a disease and he was worried, so he went to the doctor and asked: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?" The doctor replied, "One hundred percent. Medical records...
17:10 Sat 05th Jan 2013
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marval

Train

A large two-engine train was crossing the north island of New Zealand. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half...
17:10 Fri 04th Jan 20134 answers, last by Starbuckone 22:38 Fri 04th Jan 2013
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marval

Suppose

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23...
18:45 Thu 03rd Jan 20134 answers, last by marval 18:53 Thu 03rd Jan 2013
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marval

Magic Radio

A man bought a new car that set him back a lot of money. Two days later, he went back to the dealer complaining that the radio wasn't working. "Sir," said the sales manager, "the radio is automated....
15:44 Thu 03rd Jan 201313 answers, last by marval 19:44 Thu 03rd Jan 2013
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marval

Passing Gas

There was once a very prim and proper older lady who had a problem with passing gas. Since she came from a generation when people didn't even talk about this kind of problem it took a long time for...
20:12 Wed 02nd Jan 20135 answers, last by Jemisa 10:57 Thu 31st Jan 2013
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marval

Cheeky Or What?

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewellery store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the...
20:52 Tue 01st Jan 20132 answers, last by murraymints 06:46 Wed 02nd Jan 2013
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marval

Blind Date

A young blonde secretary was describing her blind date to a friend. "After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything...
17:00 Mon 31st Dec 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 23:28 Mon 31st Dec 2012
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marval

See

As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself. Hoping to...
13:04 Mon 31st Dec 20127 answers, last by Starbuckone 23:25 Mon 31st Dec 2012
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marval

Whiskey (Adult)

Bernie and Ted were walking down the street when they saw two street dogs mating in the park. Bernie said, "That's just great. I do it like that with my wife every night." Ted said, "My wife is...
17:06 Sun 30th Dec 20121 answer, last by McMouse 11:05 Mon 31st Dec 2012
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marval

Oops

A man was coming out of a new barber shop which he decided to try out. He met his friend and his friend asked him if the barber did a good job. He replied, “the haircut looks fine but I didn’t...
12:59 Sat 29th Dec 20122 answers, last by flump1 23:14 Sat 29th Dec 2012
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marval

Highland Hospitality

A commercial traveller was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage near by so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly...
20:51 Fri 28th Dec 20122 answers, last by Jemisa 22:47 Fri 28th Dec 2012
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marval

Try Saying This

Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions. Son: Father, Can I ask you a question? Father: Ok ask. Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor...
14:29 Fri 28th Dec 20121 answer, last by Starbuckone 22:17 Fri 28th Dec 2012

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