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marval

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marval

History

Anne Boleyn had a brother called Tenpin. Which country was once run by napkins? The Serviette Union. "What's done cannot be undone." They obviously didn't have shoelaces in Shakespeare's day. 149 B.C....
16:09 Fri 25th Jan 20132 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:15 Fri 25th Jan 2013
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marval

Work2

I keep seeing these signs reading, "Make money at home in your spare time." I thought, "What a great idea!" It turns out that's illegal, and it's called counterfeiting. I had to deliver a parcel to...
19:27 Thu 24th Jan 20139 answers, last by Rimseen 03:24 Fri 20th Jan 2023
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marval

Work

My boss stormed up to me in the office today and said, "You missed work yesterday, didn't you?" "Not particularly," I replied. I've quit my new job as a postman. They handed me my first letter to...
18:02 Thu 24th Jan 20135 answers, last by magicmick 23:34 Thu 24th Jan 2013
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marval

How

How do you tell what clan a Scotsman's from? Stick your hand up his kilt and if it's a quarter pounder, he's a MacDonald...
21:52 Tue 22nd Jan 20134 answers, last by murraymints 06:04 Wed 23rd Jan 2013
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marval

Slap

An old man and woman were rocking on the front porch when he turned and slapped her. She said, "What was that for?" He said "That was for forty years of bad sex." The woman said "oh" and continued...
16:35 Tue 22nd Jan 20132 answers, last by Starbuckone 22:19 Tue 22nd Jan 2013
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marval

I Confess

Driving past the small country church one Saturday evening a farmer noticed a number of children playing around the priest's new car which was parked outside the church. He dismounted from his tractor...
20:47 Sun 20th Jan 20131 answer, last by Starbuckone 12:07 Mon 21st Jan 2013
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marval

Another One Sorry

Tesco have a promotion with triple club card points on petrol and value burgers. It's called "Only Fuels and Horses"....
17:34 Sun 20th Jan 20135 answers, last by Starbuckone 12:05 Mon 21st Jan 2013
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marval

That's How

A party of very talented soccer coaches came from London to teach the boys of Dublin the rudiments of the game. They picked out two sides of eleven each. They selected likely goalkeepers, centre backs...
15:00 Sat 19th Jan 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 20:48 Sat 19th Jan 2013
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marval

Please Send

Murphy decided to find an interesting hobby. Animals appealed to him so he wrote to the local pet store. 'Dear sir, I'm starting my own zoo and would like you to send me two mongooses ...' He looked...
14:26 Sat 19th Jan 20133 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:45 Sat 19th Jan 2013
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Sued

A recent article in the Express & Star paper reported that a woman has sued her local hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex * * * * * A...
17:06 Fri 18th Jan 20136 answers, last by Starbuckone 10:52 Sat 19th Jan 2013
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marval

I Had To

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can...
23:39 Thu 17th Jan 20136 answers, last by Starbuckone 10:50 Sat 19th Jan 2013
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marval

Poor Blonde

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a drinks machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in a one pound coin,...
18:21 Wed 16th Jan 20131 answer, last by Starbuckone 15:40 Thu 17th Jan 2013
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marval

Sarcasm

When I left home, my mum said, "Don't forget to write." I thought, "That's unlikely... It's a basic skill, isn't it?" I was in London today and jumped into a black cab. I said, "Waterloo, mate." He...
15:42 Sun 13th Jan 20137 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:39 Sun 13th Jan 2013
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Wordplay

I shot someone with a starting gun. I've been charged with race crimes. I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!' I thought, "That's just spam." My mate dug a hole in the...
22:57 Sat 12th Jan 20136 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:25 Sun 13th Jan 2013
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marval

More Punting

Whenever I'm down in the dumps, I get myself a new hat. They smell a bit but at least they're free. I had a candlelit dinner the other night. Everything was really undercooked. So I told my mum that...
16:55 Sat 12th Jan 20135 answers, last by tonyav 20:24 Sat 12th Jan 2013
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I Have Been Punting

Do gun manuals have a "trouble shooting?" section? Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me. Don't worry, I only suffered super fish oil injuries. I've just seen a bunch of Mexicans packed...
16:03 Sat 12th Jan 20139 answers, last by tenrec 19:52 Sat 12th Jan 2013
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marval

Irish Logic

'Wake up,' said Murphy. 'The baby's crying. It wants feeding.' 'Well, you feed it,' said his wife. 'It's your son.' 'Yes,' spluttered Murphy. 'But he's half yours.' 'I know,' smiled the missus. 'But...
19:24 Fri 11th Jan 20133 answers, last by puternut 00:17 Sat 12th Jan 2013
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marval

Books

I've just taken up speed reading. Last night I did war and peace in 20 seconds. I know it's only 3 words but it's a start! I've just published a book on DIY. It's blank and comes with a free pen....
23:33 Thu 10th Jan 201310 answers, last by notafish 17:50 Sat 12th Jan 2013
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marval

It's That Blonde Again.

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. 'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30...
18:38 Thu 10th Jan 20134 answers, last by Starbuckone 23:13 Thu 10th Jan 2013
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marval

Blind Date

The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! Do you want to see my underwear?" Before she could respond,...
22:52 Wed 09th Jan 20132 answers, last by Starbuckone 22:56 Wed 09th Jan 2013

2401 to 2420 of 3998

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