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marval

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marval

When I

Folks were having a drink at a local pub when this majestic looking, immaculately dressed man walked in with two men who appeared to be his body guards. He shouted, "Smile everyone. When I smile...
18:09 Sat 28th Jul 20124 answers, last by magicmick 22:21 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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marval

I Only

"My stomach has been bothering me, Doctor," complained the patient. "What have you been eating?" asked the doctor. "That's easy. I only eat pool balls." "Pool...
17:21 Sat 28th Jul 201219 answers, last by carrust 18:01 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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marval

The alternative Olympics.

Not a joke as such, but here is a late entry for the Olympics. http://2.bp.blogspot..../s1600/sheep+race.jpg...
14:13 Sat 28th Jul 20122 answers, last by askyourgran 19:29 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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marval

Sorry in advance

Three cowboys - Billy, Rex and Chuck - were drinking at the local bar. Billy said, "Did you hear that fellow Roy bought a new car. I bet he's going to start bragging about it the moment he enters...
13:30 Sat 28th Jul 20129 answers, last by askyourgran 19:27 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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marval

Great Olympic Speech

David Cameron is scheduled to speak at the opening ceremony of the Olympics. Nervous, he asks for a teleprompter. On the day of the speech, he takes to the podium and starts, "Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,...
22:07 Fri 27th Jul 20122 answers, last by Starbuckone 19:19 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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marval

Confession

A very elderly couple are having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding university. The old man leans forward and softly says to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask...
19:52 Fri 27th Jul 20128 answers, last by flump1 11:56 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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marval

Help

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great bush fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his office to hire a plane....
16:45 Fri 27th Jul 201211 answers, last by DTcrosswordfan 12:25 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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marval

No Need

I went shopping to my local Sainsburys yesterday. They were selling muller Fruit Corner yogurt 6 packs. It was buy one get one free. Just because I got one pack free. There was no need for the till to...
15:23 Fri 27th Jul 20122 answers, last by marval 16:04 Fri 27th Jul 2012
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marval

Grounds?

Arnie, the tailor was frantic. His wife, Rebecca, was sick and perhaps dying. "Doctor, please save my wife. I'll pay anything." "What if I can't cure her?" "I'll pay you...
20:27 Thu 26th Jul 20122 answers, last by marval 16:02 Fri 27th Jul 2012
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marval

Former Love

Over drinks one afternoon two men were discussing former "loves". Jimmy said that he once broke-up with a girl long ago because she had a seemingly incurable speech impediment. George said,...
15:39 Thu 26th Jul 20123 answers, last by tenrec 07:53 Sat 28th Jul 2012
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marval

Good drink

Whisky and Viagra For a really stiff drink...
20:21 Wed 25th Jul 201212 answers, last by marval 15:47 Thu 26th Jul 2012
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marval

It's that music again

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honour," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last...
19:58 Wed 25th Jul 20123 answers, last by Starbuckone 22:04 Wed 25th Jul 2012
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marval

Music anyone?

What do you call a short drummer with good rhythm? A metro gnome. Why did JSBach have so many children? Because there were no stops on his organ. A local church built a new sanctuary. They moved their...
17:16 Wed 25th Jul 20124 answers, last by marval 19:50 Wed 25th Jul 2012
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marval

Know your music

Music history according to students 1. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music. 2. Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing. 3. A...
14:05 Wed 25th Jul 20127 answers, last by marval 19:48 Wed 25th Jul 2012
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marval

Old Spot

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for...
17:48 Tue 24th Jul 20126 answers, last by DrFilth 22:38 Tue 24th Jul 2012
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marval

Oops

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators....
20:23 Mon 23rd Jul 201213 answers, last by keithlbw 10:30 Tue 24th Jul 2012
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marval

Telephone Operator Anyone?

The following are supposedly real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff Centre. Caller: I would like the number of the...
16:16 Mon 23rd Jul 20122 answers, last by tenrec 17:57 Mon 23rd Jul 2012
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marval

Oh dear

Since I was a new patient, I had to fill out an information form for the doctor's files. The nurse reading it over noticed my unusual name."How do you pronounce it?" she asked....
10:50 Mon 23rd Jul 20122 answers, last by tenrec 14:10 Mon 23rd Jul 2012
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marval

See if you get this.

An inscription problem According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands...
10:05 Mon 23rd Jul 201216 answers, last by marval 14:18 Mon 23rd Jul 2012

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