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marval

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marval

Don't Complain

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The...
21:20 Mon 11th Jun 20122 answers, last by tonyav 15:43 Tue 12th Jun 2012
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marval

With appologes to the Irish

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Murphy. The boss thought I'm not hiring that lazy Irishman, so he decided to set a test for Murphy, hoping he wouldn't be able...
18:52 Mon 11th Jun 20124 answers, last by tonyav 19:23 Mon 11th Jun 2012
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marval

Shooting

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's-eyes with...
13:37 Mon 11th Jun 20125 answers, last by shoota 14:19 Mon 11th Jun 2012
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marval

Another groan

One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she got an idea...
09:53 Mon 11th Jun 201211 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 20:18 Sun 12th Aug 2012
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marval

I come

A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the...
15:24 Sun 10th Jun 20126 answers, last by Starbuckone 18:16 Mon 11th Jun 2012
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marval

Ah Bless

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry him. She immediately said, "Yes." The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't...
12:02 Sun 10th Jun 20126 answers, last by tenrec 07:31 Mon 11th Jun 2012
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marval

What do you want

A store manager overheard one of his salesmen talking to a customer. "No sir," said the salesman. We haven't had any for a while and it doesn't look like we'll be getting any soon." The...
19:24 Sat 09th Jun 20122 answers, last by weecalf 19:43 Sat 09th Jun 2012
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marval

Olympics

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight,...
17:46 Sat 09th Jun 20124 answers, last by wildwood 06:11 Sun 10th Jun 2012
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marval

Three

A man goes to his doctor and says, "Doc, I have a problem. My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday. I need three...
18:49 Fri 08th Jun 20128 answers, last by jabuchanjx 00:49 Mon 11th Jun 2012
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marval

Oops

Pierre Cardin released a new fragrance line. The people in the elevator pretended nothing happened...
12:20 Fri 08th Jun 20123 answers, last by Starbuckone 17:59 Fri 08th Jun 2012
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marval

What occupation?

Three men were walking aimlessly in the desert. They came upon a castle. Dying of thirst, they decided to go into the castle. Inside they found no men, just dozens of beautiful women. The three men...
21:10 Thu 07th Jun 20127 answers, last by jabuchanjx 01:01 Mon 11th Jun 2012
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marval

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb. Border Collie: Just one. And I'll...
17:15 Thu 07th Jun 201214 answers, last by tenrec 20:50 Fri 08th Jun 2012
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marval

Balls

One day, an American was touring Spain. After his day's sightseeing, he stopped at a local restaurant. While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the...
15:18 Thu 07th Jun 20122 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:54 Thu 07th Jun 2012
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marval

Here are some appropriate Hymns.

The Dentist's Hymn......Crown him with many crowns The Weatherman's Hymn......There shall be showers of blessing The Contractor's Hymn.........The church's one foundation The Tailor's Hymn.......Holy...
23:10 Wed 06th Jun 20122 answers, last by marval 14:35 Thu 07th Jun 2012
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marval

Coming

The new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous, and about ten minutes into the sermon his mind went blank. After a brief second of complete panic, he remembered what they had...
18:58 Wed 06th Jun 20124 answers, last by wildwood 01:31 Thu 07th Jun 2012
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marval

Funny English notices from around the world.

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. No offence to anyone from these countries. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If...
15:43 Wed 06th Jun 201211 answers, last by SpikeyBush 20:55 Thu 07th Jun 2012
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marval

Hymns for the aging.

Precious Lord take my hand (and help me get up) It is well with my soul (but my back hurts) Nobody knows the trouble I have seeing Amazing Grace (considering my age) Just a slower walk with thee Count...
21:35 Tue 05th Jun 201210 answers, last by marval 13:44 Wed 06th Jun 2012
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marval

The Jewish Fire Department

One night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. In the blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all fire departments for miles around....
19:02 Tue 05th Jun 20128 answers, last by marval 19:26 Tue 05th Jun 2012
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marval

What will we?

Looking at all the Jubilee threads, I wander what we will be talking about tomorrow, when it is all over.
11:28 Tue 05th Jun 20128 answers, last by tonyav 11:33 Tue 05th Jun 2012
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marval

Material

In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about materials; So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the...
09:31 Tue 05th Jun 20122 answers, last by marval 19:21 Tue 05th Jun 2012

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