A man once spent days looking for his new hat, but he couldn't find it anywhere. Finally, he decided that he'd go to church on Sunday and sit at the back. During the service he would sneak out and...
A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down to a town some distance away, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return,...
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some...
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy takes out his cell phone...
A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favour?" "Of course...
You know it is time to reassess your relationship with your computer when.... You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed. You...
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" To...
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"...
A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office. "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think you're 'sex drive' is all in your...
Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will...
Youth is when you smoke, drink, and are naughty all through the night, and the next morning you still look like you haven't been doing any of that. Middle age is when you smoke, drink, and are naughty...
St. Mom's Wort - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. Empty Nestrogen - Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by...
Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their...
A condom saleswoman was stranded in the countryside and had to put up the night with a farmer and his two hilly-billy sons. In the middle of the night, she crept into the room where the two brothers...
An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get up to leave until the theatre was ready to close for the night. "You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said....
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am...
An older couple are playing in the annual golf club championship. They are playing in a playoff hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can...
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in todays computer world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you...
At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants. At age 10...success is...making your own meals. At age 12...success is...having friends. At age 16...success is...having a drivers license. At age...
MAKING COFFEE Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly. You've got to grind your beans...
