The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there...
A noted sex therapist realized that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone had sex. To prove his theory, he filled up an...
A man and his wife were making their first visit to the doctor, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's...
Today's Stock Market Report: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils...
The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower. Their line had included Senators, Pastors, and Wall Street wizards. Now they decided to compile...
Bert was a cheese maker in France. He was also keen on raising money for charities. So one year he decides he's going to run in the Paris marathon, dressed up as a piece of cheese, to raise some...
Asthma: What you do if dad says no Beauty Parlour: A place where women curl up and dye. Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a...
Father Smith had been parish priest at St Monica's for over fifteen years and boasted that he knew all his parishioners by the sound of their voices. So he was a little miffed when he was hearing...
A young newly married couple inherited a parrot from an aged relative. This parrot was very talkative, and was forever informing visitors as to what went on in the newlyweds' home. One evening, after...
'Have you work for a handyman?' asked Murphy. 'Depends what you can do,' said the hotel manager. 'Are you good at electrics?' 'No.sor.' 'Plumbing?' 'No,sor.' 'Painting and decorating?' 'No,sor.'...
A drunken Finnegan collapsed at the party and as he fell he caught his chin on the keyboard of the piano, knocking him spark out. On coming round his wife asked 'Who hit you?' 'I don't know,' said...
A very proper man started going into the neighbourhood drug store every week and buying 2 dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week he would come in with the same order. One day the druggist felt he had...
Following on from Jem's joke, here is another one. Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk and now my A: drive won't work." Tech Support: "Your A drive won't...
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg....
Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the udder. Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the words! How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path. What...
NEW - Different color from previous design. ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design. EXCLUSIVE - Imported product. UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition. FOOLPROOF...
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing...
The company personnel department had carefully interviewed thirty-eight people for the job of assistant to the financial director. The chief executive thought that one candidate - Charles - seemed...
A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the...
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. Well, Mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of...
